Exodus of Dawn
by ErrorDexis
Summary: The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. Edward's POV -ON HIATUS-
1. The Eternality of Time

**AN: EDWARD'S POV**

They say, as we grow older, we don't change but become more of ourselves.

Infinity meant nothing my first days under transformation. It became apparent in mere day's time how I had belittled the term 'forever'. I hadn't done it nearly the proper justice it deserved. Time could be consumed and measured. The mere name gives it a definition, a capacity, a way for us to concede to that which we can't limit. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, years, decades, scores, centuries; we created these interval to give value to the intangible time.

Though meant to be indefinable, our very existence confined time. We decided, though time was eternal, that more or less could be reaped or sowed. The bounds by which time was consumed were our very entities. Thus we became the definition of time; it began when we lived and ended when we died. Time is an expectancy defined by both life and death, and that in itself is its most significant conclusion.

And then there are those of for us for which time begins but does not end, in which death will never be a preordained event…time's little exception: Vampires. The true meaning of time holds no bearing upon our actions. We are impervious to the influential feeling of a boundary like time because we have so much more of it that anyone else. Time for us is exponential, immeasurable, and unable to be quantified. And now I too am infinite.

I hadn't realized just how long forever was. Forever gave way to possibility; I could do now what I hadn't been able because I'm immune; immune to time and all things that would cut it short. And yet with seemingly perfect conditions came the tradeoff.

I had to trade my humanity, my sense of self, my views of the world I thought I lived in. Learning of this double reality that existed beside our own and the race that bred and spawned beneath the conventional life I was used to was over whelming.

I'm condemned to darkness, forever hiding in the shadows, fighting very shrewd instincts to kill those around me, and the irony of it all is the ceaselessness of time.

Time is a grating factor when living a life you do not want and cannot end, and the possibilities that come with unlimited time are blood-curdling. I knew a moment would come when I wouldn't be able to control myself, in which the beast within me would negate every shred of sanity I've managed to obtain.

I knew very well that I'd grow insane someday, roam this Earth as a last resort on an animalistic rampage with a hopeless resolve, trying to satiate my thirst for blood. And when that time came, I knew I would not regret my actions. I'd be too compelled by the weight of my sacrifices. And when I recklessly began to embezzle that which gives life to so many unsuspecting humans, I knew I would enjoy it. This is the disgusting reality of my kind.

As time passes I am unable to grow older, but everyday I continue to become more of myself; the eternal monster that lives in the nightmarish recesses of my mind.

o.O.o.O.o

**AN: Hope you enjoyed this. This is NOT A ONE-SHOT, but a continuation. Meaning that this isn't a conventional story but different accounts of Edward's life. His thought proscesses, his conflictions with relationship...things of that matter. However, I will base my updates on response. Be nice. Review, even to tell me if it's not worth it.**

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	2. Aroma

**AN/ Disclaimer- the length of chapters will vary, it really depends on the scenario. And according to each I'll try to make speedy updates. Enjoy.**

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o.O.o.O.o

Despite this, possibility is not without its redeeming qualities and the benefits that steady my composure. Possibility gives leeway to both calamity and reprieve, and I've been gifted with both in form of a human. Bella knows not to its fullest extent what hold she has over me. Neither can she fathom the bounds by which my love for her exceeds. It's so difficult to put into words, and harder yet to express.

In minutes she'll arrive, her hair tightly bound to keep her scent form wafting in my –conclusively, on a regular basis, Jasper's- general direction, and she'll know not of what she's really doing to entice me. By removing the alluring distraction of her hair, she merely manages to accentuate her gracefully long neck and the saccharine blood that softly pulsates beneath the delicate membrane.

I felt nothing shy of an animal thinking of her in this manner, but, unbeknownst to her, Bella has a maddening habit of unleashing my inner beast. On many occasions I've dreamt of tasting her in every way possible; each fantasy so vivid it would leave me reeling in desire. And in this I learned strength. She became a matter of choice. I could run from my infatuations and never find my opportunity at happiness. Or I could stay by her side and contend with my inner disputes and the very limitations that would resist my feelings for her.

Of course, she does nothing to help the matter. She kisses me with tangible fervor, touches me with such a powerful need the icy nature of my skin sets ablaze and tells me volumes with her eyes. She knows not how the venom of my mouth flows in excess anticipating her lips, her touch. And yet the absence of her hair is supposed to quell my inner turmoil…

And then there are some factors to which I have no control. As I watch her step down from her sixty year old truck –if you could even call it that-I felt a very poignant urge to spend my money on a new one.

"If you would just let me buy you a new car, I swear I won't go beyond 1990" I declared.

"Good morning to you too, Edward." She chided. I sighed in resignation and kissed her softly. We progressed then down the courtyard of the staffers hall on the grounds of the University she promised to consider. After minutes of silence, my fingers winding idly through hers, she defended her 'truck'.

"The 50's had a certain class, as you very well know."

"As true as that is, I can't say your _truck_ does it justice." She rolled her eyes and withdrew her hand from mine.

"I thought we've been through this. It would really hurt Charlie's pride if you, of all people, were to buy me a new car. Besides…I'm content with the one I have…and if I hadn't told you once, I've told you a thousand times I can't-" I rose a finger to silence her.

"And I believe I told you that even if you wanted to reciprocate I would not accept. I'm afraid there's simply nothing you can do to change that." I declared, snaking my arm around her waist, sensing her growing impatience.

"Fine Edward, waste your money on a one hundred thousand dollar car, what better way to throw away cash."

"You're very wrong Bella; if it's in your regards I consider it well-spent." I countered, placing a kiss to her temple. Her disposition is naturally without acrimony, making moments like these quite endearing.

"So what business do I have here?" she said half-heartedly as I opened a door to her.

"I've set up a consultation with the dean." She motioned to argue then, but I interrupted.

"Bella, I've already explained that nothing is final and he understands completely. He doesn't wish to let you go so easily, you're more than qualified. I don't have to read his mind to know that." It nothing shy of the truth, the dean saw her as a very advantageous addition to the populous. Overall, it was an interesting conversation.

"I just don't see why college needs to be an immediate option, Edward. I've got plenty of time to think it over." She whined, her heels lightly traipsing the linoleum flooring. We stood side by side now, awaiting an elevator.

"The sooner you enroll, the better, otherwise, you'll have to wait until next fall. That's an entire year of alone time with me to contend with, and you're very aware what our little agreement entails. Besides, _IF…_you happen to be eighteen forever it would behoove you to have some credibility." In my peripheral vision I could see she was glaring, obviously upset with the deadlock I'd made in this arrangement. It was near fool proof, exactly as I intended.

"Are you saying I'm not assured?" she seethed between her teeth, folding her arms tightly as she progressed into the elevator.

"Of course not Bella. , " I said, wrapping both my arms around her tiny waist. "I love you. And that alone gives me reason to officially involve myself in your welfare. I will always provide for you." She exhaled the breath she was holding and shrank into my arms in defeat. "I'm merely suggesting that you make some sort of…brand for yourself, for lack of better words. A conventional job is not what I want for you, too many sacrifices. I want you to have more than that, and nothing I can't control should stop you from getting it." She remained quiet as she considered my words.

"Edward…I love your intentions and I'm perfectly aware of all that" she said as I released her, the elevator would make its stop shortly. "I just don't want to think about college right now. If it'll be anything like its been for Renee and Charlie then I believe putting it off will be a good thing." I felt the edges of my lips curl downward in sheer disappointment. The last time she used her parent's history against me was to deny my hand in marriage. I've all but developed a hatred for their inadvertent involvement in my plans.

"How _has_ it been for them?"

"Hell in a hand basket" she said bluntly as she stepped from the elevator.

"Then it should be a cake walk for you. By my standards you've been through twice that." She groaned in response. It concerned me deeply to hear she compares the tribulations of a college student to everything she's already been through. I sometimes wonder whether or not she's in permanent denial.

"Bella, you're being pessimistic. Since money will never be of any concern to you, your options for college are unlimited." I said whilst directing her to the dean's office. "I urge you to take that chance to do something unprecedented…spontaneous even." I stopped in front of a door that visibly needed no explanation; his name was plastered on the facing quite theatrically. No surprises however, during our conversation he seemed precisely the kind of man I took him for; a human with a god complex. Meanwhile, Bella pouts.

"We live in Forks, all things considered. My mental catalog is slim. Besides, spontaneous for me is lighting a candle without burning myself. Any suggestions?" she patronized. Bella could be exasperatingly stubborn at times.

"We'll discuss this later." I confirmed, glancing at my watch and knocking lightly on the door.

He took longer than necessary to answer, but then again, as a vampire I should be more receptive to average human speed. With no other references: he looked like a dean, and I've seen many. His cologne was overwhelming and burned my nose. I barely managed to suppress the urge to cover my face. He was slightly shorter than me, but taller than Bella. His hair was weighted down with too many byproducts, his suit was professionally finished, and he was far too gracious. It wasn't long before his mind spoke to me.

_I have the right mind to fire that so called 'secretary'…haven't even gotten my coffee yet…_

"Good morning Mr.-

_Its Dr. really…Mr. seems so…marital. It's on the door for heaven's sake…_

"I'm sorry, _Dr. _Van Buren, is this a bad time?" I asked. He eyed my quizzically. He had ever right to be confused, I should try harder to respond to him rather than his mind.

"Edward Cullen, we spoke over the phone yesterday." I clarified.

_Oh yes…the haggler_

"But of course, Mr. Cullen. It's nice to finally speak in person." His eyes motioned over my shoulder as I tried to ignore his inner comment. With the degrees I possess is medical science, _I _should be referred to as 'Dr.' myself.

"Ah, and you must be the object of our concern." He said. Bella managed an unbelievably enthusiastic smile and stepped around me to offer her hand. My irritation had to be obvious.

"Hi, Isabella." She introduced herself.

_How cute…I'll have to keep close quarters on this one…_As I contemplated just what he meant by that, he ushered Bella into his office a little too hastily for my liking. Once inside he offered her a seat and sat behind his desk.

"As you very well know, I spoke with Edward over the phone yesterday evening." He informed. Bella nodded. "Your brother had nothing but good things to say about you." Van Buren's inner voice scoffed and then laughed.

_Quite frankly he hadn't said enough…_Bella looked down and smiled to herself, it was clear she had no intention of correcting him, I felt it my personal duty to take liberty unto myself.

"Isabella is hardly my sister, but my fiancé, with all due respect Dr. Van Buren" I stated with pride. Bella merely crossed her legs at the heel and put her arms in her lap. To make my point clear I began stroking her knee. She smiled brightly to atone for my intrusion. Van Buren's grin lessened considerably much to my satisfaction.

"Oh. I see…forgive me. She's just so young and full of life it seems, I just figured-"

_What a narcissist…they won't last a year…_

"Yes I understand, Mr. Van Buren." I said with slight venom in my tone.

_Today's generation is so naïve, why would she waste her future on him…_I was growing impatient with Van Buren entirely. I then worked harder to force his voice from my mind.

"Of course this concerns me in regards to her college career" he said plainly. Bella began rubbing her temple with her fingers and smiled in my direction as if to say 'I told you so'. But, with or without her support, I'm determined to make this work.

"In what areas, Doctor? " I asked dismally. He was trying to sabotage her chances under false pretences and I can't allow that.

"Well, it goes without saying…marriage is difficult. How will you manage to afford both marriage and tuition?" he pried.

"We are assured. Money will not be a factor you have to consider, Dr. Van Buren. With that said can we possibl-"

"So you're under an arranged marriage type of thing, if I may ask?" he interrupted.

_That has to be it, what else would possess her to marry this kid…_I looked toward my hands that were balled into tightly clenched fists to retain my composure, while Bella seemed thoroughly amused.

"No, Dr. Van Buren, our marriage is not arranged." I said slowly for emphasis. He nodded. "However, I'd like to move on to other-"

"Suppose she gets pregnant? How then will you afford to stay in school?"

_Honestly…she looks exactly like the type of girl to get herself pregnant listening to nice guys like him…_

My tolerance was waning. I accept, though unwillingly, when someone insults me, but I won't have him wreaking slander on my Bella.

"Dr. Van Buren…if we could just be a little pragmatic. I have no intentions of getting pregnant within the next four years." She finally spoke on her behalf. He nodded falsely and began sifting through files. _That's what they all say…_

"Right. I wouldn't want that for you. You should be allowed to achieve anything you want without any…setbacks." He said, glancing toward myself. Bella noticed the clenching of my jaw and quickly changed the subject.

"T-thank you, I agree. Don't you Edward?" I eyed her pointedly and said nothing as the dean looked on between us, taking the aversion to his own liking.

"Isabella Swan is it? Beautiful name…"he said with unnecessary gesticulation.

"Thank you" she said hesitantly, glancing toward me.

"Now, Miss. Swan…your records are squeaky clean, your credentials are near perfect…I honestly don't see why you shouldn't be eligible for Washington State."

"Thank you, Dr. Van Buren" she answered, shifting in her seat.

"Well then, I'll make plans to officially enroll you, and we'll mail off more information. Now, I must know, do you plan to reside on campus or…" he implied.

"Well uh, I'm still undeci-"

"No, she will not." I voiced suddenly. It was enough knowing she'd be within this man's proximity for the better half of the day, I'm entitled to the rest of it. Van Buren looked at me incredulously and then back at her for clarification. Of course, she said nothing.

_Figures…putty in his hands… _he mind uttered as if he was aware I was listening. He clasped his hands together happily to break the silence.

"Well! It's a pleasure to meet you Isabella, I'm looking forward to your presence here." He gleamed. Bella held up a finger.

"And I'm sure Edward discussed with you, nothing's final." She clarified. I'm glad she mentioned that little fact, I'm beginning to have seconds thoughts of my own.

"Sure sure…but I can assure you, you will not find a better place to learn." I was already at the door and opening it for Bella during the exchange. I didn't hesitate, the last thing I wanted to do was open conversation concerning anything about this place. I didn't stop until I reached the elevator.

"Charming isn't he?" she asked. I looked at her solicitously. I had to learn to read her expressions because I could not hear her mind but I could swear by the life of me she was being serious.

"He would have to be by the far the most obnoxious human it's ever been my displeasure to converse with…and he smells awful." It was people like Van Buren, who believe themselves to be so well informed, that make me give up on the human race. And as much I would love to show him what this world has so cruelly hidden from people like himself, mortals, I know very well that part of superiority is proper judgment.

When she seemed unresponsive, I looked toward her then. Her gaze was fixed, waiting, as I was for the elevator. It came then, and she was quick to step before me. Had I insulted her?

"What's wrong?" I would give nothing more than to be able to read her mind right now. She said nothing and was silently fuming all the way back to the lot. I let her storm ahead of me hoping she'd divulge what was bothering her and save me from asking.

She continued to ignore me. And as it seemed she'd drive off without saying another word I found the courage to intervene. I grabbed her hand firmly as she made to latch the handle of her door and I heard her breath hitch.

"Bella…what's wrong with you?" I asked, more urgently now. She turned toward me slowly, her eyes laden in a teary gloss, and her usually voluptuous lips a thin, unwavering line. I could say nothing to her, I was far too intimidated by the weight of her expression.

I let go of her hand, unaware that I was holding my own breath. I did not like when she was upset with me, it never seems to be something I can physically fix.

Then she turned away.

"Drive." She ordered and turned away from me. Abandoning my own car, I opened the passenger door for her and did as she asked. As I pulled away, struggling to gauge the speed between fifty and fifty-five, as her truck would not allow me to go faster, I silently waited for her to speak to me. Many minutes passed, and I was rounding Forks, and still she said nothing.

"Bella…It wasn't my intention to offend you. And if I did, I'm sorry." I quickly glanced at her and still she was unresponsive; merely gazing out the window.

"Bella." I said, my tone growing gravelly. I'm not the one for a silent treatment, especially if I can't read your mind.

"I'm not insulted. I just…needed a confirmation. And you gave it to me." She whispered, though I could hear her very well.

"I don't understand? What did I confirm?" I asked her, keeping my eyes on the road.

"I don't want to discuss this." She said flatly. I felt a growl build within me.

"So you plan on staying upset forever? You won't even tell me…" I couldn't formulate the proper words to convey how I felt about being excluded. It was bad enough I am exempt form her thoughts. I can't help her unless she speaks to me.

"What good would come from telling you? It's in your nature…" she spoke softly, nearly solemn. My heart wrenched painfully wanting desperately to know what was causing her so much distress. I felt ashamed to hear that my very nature, something I can't help, was upsetting her.

It was still early in the morning when I pulled into her driveway. The fog on the windows had yet to disperse and Charlie's car was no where to be found indicating he was already at work. She grabbed the handle again to let herself out but I placed my hand firmly against her thigh. She stopped.

I couldn't let her go just yet. I needed to know what was bothering her and reprimand myself from ever doing it again. I promised I would make her happy but I only seemed to be causing her pain.

"Bella…if something was troubling you, why would you keep it from me?" I said as I sat watching her. The set of her lips, the way her chin curves gently into her neck…All I wanted was to compensate for my mistakes, forever erase all anguish from her life. Even I knew it was asking for too much.

"It never seemed important…" she answered. I quickly reviewed the words I had so hastily spoken before she became upset and could not think what could be the focal point of her dismay. I opened my mouth to speak, but could find nothing to ease her pain. And there I sat, in silence, tortured by her own conflictions.

"I like to tell myself at times that you and I are as destined as we are fortuitous…but I shouldn't tell myself those things. I shouldn't lie." She laughed nervously, unhappily, clearly disconcerted, and I had not the slightest clue how to help her. Something told me that kissing away her problems would only make matters worse.

"Bella…you alone are destined for me. Believe me, I can't see myself with anyone else." My voice was pleading, every fiber of my being urged her faith in me. Will she never learn how much she means to me?

She laughed quietly to herself once more, missing the happiness that should come with laughter.

"You'll smell her before you see her." She said, looking toward me now, her eyes emanating in regret. Did she regret me? Did she feel underappreciated?

"I…don't understand. Bella, there is no 'her'. There is only you and will always be only you." It didn't come out quite as smoothly as I intended but I couldn't find the proper words to explain myself. It seems the English language would not console her. When I say I love her, I intend it for no one else. What could I have done so wrong?

She smiled apologetically, as if she already knew I wouldn't understand, already accepted that I wouldn't be able to comprehend her position. What am I missing? I'll smell her before I see her?

"I don't expect you to understand. Like I said…it's in your nature. In fact…I should be grateful. Who am I complain, to wonder why is it you love me? Why can't the simple fact that you love me be enough?" she asked more to herself than to me. I stared at her in disbelief, my eyes penetrating madly to disperse the façade that had so quickly made itself known. I wanted to believe I was dreaming. I wanted her to look toward me and tell me she's merely kidding. I didn't want to believe she was doubting my feelings for her.

"Bella." I struggled still with the words I wished would come to me. "What could I have possibly said that would put my love for you into question?" I felt detached; as if I was growing apart from her. I could no longer feel the heat that emanated from her skin. I slid closer to her, putting a finger under her chin to turn her toward me. Her face was twisted with grief that _I_ had inflicted upon her, the one who promised to love her, who swore to never hurt her again. I felt raw to my very bone, undeserving of her time or attention.

"Bella, I love you bec-"

"Is it me or my scent?" she whispered softly, her sweet breath gracing my lips, a wretched and beautiful nightmare. And then I realized what I had said to vindicate her dejection toward me. I couldn't lie to myself. Half of what draws her to me is her scent, her unbelievably delicious scent. She didn't want to be loved for something she couldn't help. She wanted to be the reason I loved her, in control of what holds me to her. And now I am forced to ask myself this…hadn't her scent been so strong would I have loved her at all?

It was an alarming prospect, I felt as if I was betraying her by just contemplating the fact. Not only could I not see myself with no one besides her I didn't _want_ to be with anyone but her. I'm madly infatuated with every meticulous detail that makes her the person she is. Loving her entails also loving her scent. Why can't I love both? What kind of answer is she looking for?

But I needed no help answering such a self explanatory question. She would not tell me because she knows how futile it is. I could not lie to her about this and expect her to accept it. She wanted to be the only thing that draws her to me, and this is true, but she knows there are things for which I can't atone for, things about her that my body can't ignore, that my very nature will not deny. And yet why is my loving both her and her scent unsettling?

I couldn't respond because I can't lie.

My mouth held open slightly, searching her face for a sign, anything that would tell me exactly what she wanted to hear. I would say anything to make her happy. She smiled and looked downward in disappointment.

"It's okay Edward. I'm being difficult…" My face was still stricken with anguish. What did this mean? Would she leave me for good?

"Bye." She whispered.

"Bella, _why_?" My voice was barely audible, but she read the words on my lips. She smiled her pain-filled smile once again and rose in her seat, her eyes becoming level with mine. She closed in on me, kissing me softly. But I knew she would not forgive me. The passion behind her kiss was lacking. And no sooner had I felt the weight of her lips, she pulled away, opened the door, and left me to wallow in my sorrow.

o.O.o.O.o

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**AN/ Please review. This isn't a trgedy, so relax. I'll be very nice to readers in the future. Thanks for reading.**


	3. Deliberation of the Hunt

**AN/ Honestly, to me, as a writer, time between updates don't see that long, though to others it make have been an enternity. I'm really sorry, I've been having some writers block. I didn't really know what to touch on next, since I've made this clear this is not a regular story some chapters won't relate. **

**I'm really happy-no elated to be getting such positive feedback. It's very insprirng, and I thank you all invidually for reviewing. **

**On to ch. 3...**

o.O.o.O.o

It was late, and by late I mean very early. Of that I am absolutely certain. The moon was high, adjacent to the tallest tree outside my window, gleaming against the bleak canvas of grey and black hues. It was too late and yet too early to bother Bella with my need to be close to her. It was too late and too early to hunt. Too late and early to peruse the town… I yearned for something to take my mind off the numbness I felt.

Being away from her rendered me near useless. Nothing seemed of any real urgency without her. Nothing possessed any real purpose anymore. My life was easily swayed by her very existence. It dwindled on a dangerously slim wavelength. I live if she lives; she dies and I too will die. There are no other considerations, no outside dully noted factors. The basis of which my life worked upon reformed completely when I began to fall in love with her.

I've never been faced with such a compromising situation. And being in love with Bella is precisely that.

How is relationship supposed to be easy if I never seem to do anything right?

Several knocks on my door interrupted my muses.

"Come in" I said without raising my voice so much as a whisper. They would hear me.

"Edward…" It was Carlisle. I said nothing; if my father had a case to make he would make it regardless. "Your brothers are looking for you."

"So why not come here to look for me?" I said dejectedly, partially entombed in my thoughts. Carlisle advanced inside my room, sitting on the couch to put himself in my peripheral vision. He leaned his chin upon his fists, forcing himself into my view. He shrugged.

"Probable cause?" he suggested. I finally turned to him and slowly his face morphed into a solicitous frown.

"What is it?" He continued to stare in concern. Tired of being probed I turned away and sighed, trying to ensue my pondering once more.

"Your eyes are-"

"-Black, yes, I'm well aware." I said sharper than I'd intended. He was making a needless observation. None of us have to see the others eyes to tell whether or not they were thirsty. It was the equivalent to being somewhat sleep deprived. Then again…we already have that problem.

"I would say onyx, with the intention of piquing some urgency within you. I don't want to have to force you to hunt Edward." He said lightly. Carlisle was the better of us when it came to retaining his emotions, or anything that suggest he was personally favorable to something...or rather anxious. Especially to those of us who could hear minds. I don't know what I would have done in his situation, alone and forced to make such selfless decisions at the expense of my own sanity… I would have failed the human race a long time ago.

Now, more so than ever, I hunted to feel at ease around people, around Bella…to make it easier to say no. But it seems I'm always presented with such difficult challenges that test my ability to make me decide against what I want to do and what I have to do.

"I can't." I said.

"Excuse me?" he said cocking his head toward me. I knew what he was doing. He did it often back then, early in the transformation. A semblance of therapy. He could hear my words but for some greater reason that seemed far beyond me, I was failing to hear myself.

"I can't" I said louder now.

"You…can't?" he asked. He wasn't convinced, therefore I wasn't convinced. He needed a reason, and I needed to know I had a reason and whether or not my actions were warranted. I was tired of playing the game, I was not losing my mind, I was growing impatient. It seemed the world is against me and I'm tired of playing suit.

"Father, please, stop." I pleaded, leaning against the ledge of my window, completely exasperated. He was at my side in seconds.

"Edward, I do not have to tell you why it is in your best interest to hunt, and do it soon." He said with a very calm air. I needed him to disband the fog and uncertainty, to open my eyes to priority; to tell me that I have a purpose.

"I know…and I can't." I uttered feebly.

"Why." He said, his voice blunt, strict. I needed to hunt, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. I knew why I couldn't, but I could no more say it than I could become human. He wouldn't understand. My problem is not so for Carlisle. He makes it seem so easy.

"Why Edward? Why can't you hunt?" he demanded more sternly.

"I'm afraid." I said. I _am_ afraid. Why take the chance to destroy everything I'd worked so hard to keep sound?

"Why?" he asked again, less brusque than he had before. Even when enraptured in my own mind, it was hard to decipher my own thoughts form someone else's; where I really resided in the multitude of equally uncertain people was always a little unclear. It was easy to avoid what you needed to admit when you had so many distractions. And I have _many _distractions.

Thus it all came circling back to strike me where it hurt the most, to prove why I'm undeserving of her, to shed further light on the ramifications of mingling two very different lives.

"Hunting was never an event I needed to process. Very quick sure actions, all instinct…my mind could rest. I can't hear your thoughts or rationalize anything beyond the track of my quarry... And I was okay with that." He listened intently.

"What has changed?" he asked. I put my head in my hands to elude my surroundings. This was not only a confession to him but more to myself. I was avoiding a problem that was possible to fix.

"I…think about her when I shouldn't be, when I lose control…I still think of her. The urges…" I discontinued. I wouldn't go so far as to describe what exactly goes through my mind during those grotesque moments. The lack of rationality I experience during those moments make me prone to anything that attracts me...I never thought anything to be more attractive since her. I took a deep breath. "I refuse to put her in danger." Carlisle was quiet for a few minutes, and then he sighed.

"I can't imagine what you're going through. However…by refusing to put her in danger, you may be putting her danger." I smirked.

"I know. It seems there is no plausible way to get around this. 'To have my cake and eat it too'." I laughed hopelessly to myself. "I trust you won't let me hurt her…would you?"

He sighed.

"I...cannot answer indefinately…a scholar of my time once said that 'the manifestations of affection differ for a reason. Weathered by the tempests of time, love withstands such happenings unlike its lesser form because it understands the ball is no less formidable than the chain from which it dangles, thus prepares for both.' Do you understand Edward?" He preached, moving to stand at my left.

"You're saying, if I love her enough, I'd have no reason to doubt my actions…"

"And then some. This…lifestyle comes with sacrifices, you more than anyone knows this. You've overcome many, there's no doubt in my mind that you'll overcome this too…what can you do besides hope for the best?"

"I can think of one solution…'to be or not to be'" I quoted. If there was a clearer resolution to such an obscure problem I'd have seen it long ago and there'd be no reason to address Carlisle, no reason to prolong that which I yearned for. I would not have to resort to such drastic measures. It goes without saying I'd rather die than to hurt her, but I also know not to toy so foolishly with my own life; I'd be hurting her all the same.

"You'll do the right thing." He said. Still I was skeptical.

"I'd be making an unnecessary risk…taking her for granted-"

"If you do it to survive it becomes less of a risk but an obligation. Hunting is your responsibility to both Bella and yourself…not to mention…" he paused. "…humanity."

His brows furrowed then.

"How long Edward?" I looked to read his expression and his overall composure (which happened to be surprisingly readable), because I knew he wouldn't be pleased with my answer.

"23 days…" I replied quietly. He closed his eyes and exhaled.

"And when last have you seen her?" I looked down, finally comprehending.

"_I_ saw her last night. It's been a week since she's seen me." He remained quiet, allowing me time to think.

"Do you understand now?" I nodded slowly.

"I believe I do."

Now was no time to be fickle. It was a no win situiation and the matter called to my strength first and foremost. How could she take me seriously if I can't deliver, and be the person who can carry both the weight of problems hers and mine? What kind of image am I to maintain if at every difficult checkpoint, I attempt to solve the matter by 'off-ing myself'? What kind of lover would I be if I left my significant other behind?

It's true, I am more than what most people bargain for. I gave her the option and she embraced the commodities, the very least I could do is to live up to the asking price. Every minute I spend with her, the meter by which my self-control runs steeps dangerously low. And it never really goes away: try as I might to veil my desire with rationality it still froths beneath my skin, oh so close to the surface, just waiting to dispense itself. Carlisle is right; pacifying the urges is most importantly my duty to her.

I straightened with newly resolved clarity. I stopped Carlisle from making his leave.

"What do my brothers want with me?" I asked. He was silent for hour-like seconds on end.

"They're in need of a worthy hunting partner…and you're the best we've got. I hope you join them."

I nodded. Though I remained calm, inside I continued to struggle with the reins of my inner beast. It was an open invitation, a premonition, judgment day…it's inevitable that the merciless, thrashing monster of my being would be the one to decide what course of action would better my already corrupt karma.

As my mouth watered with the venom from a formerly dried well I'd strayed from for 23 mystifying days I suddenly realized how very thirsty I actually am.

I could ignore it no longer. After all…I _am_ quite the hunter.

o.O.o.O.o

* * *

**AN/I hope you liked this...Tell me whether or not you feel Carlisle is OOC, I was trying to give my own intake on their relationship. Next chapter...or what I hope will be the next chapter is a difficult one to get just right. It may take a while...and maybe several second opinions. Here's a preview...**

_She began raking her fingers through my hair, sending violent ripples of electricity down my spine, approaching me slowly she closed the space between us..._


	4. Aroma II: Enigma

**AN/I promised a happier chapter and I hope you'll find it here. **

o.O.o.O.o

Ethically, I could not leave this unresolved. Bella may be able to sleep at night with the weight of this on her chest but I wouldn't be able to sleep at all.

I had no idea what time it was, and in all actuality did not care. I had no idea what my intentions were when I decided to go to her house, so I left my car.

The route was as natural to me now as the speed of running, hence, it was a complete blur. Within close proximity to her I found it very difficult to focus on priorities. Bella would want, would expect me to leave the matter be, let it die a quiet and awkward death, but I could not allow it. I could not go on without something; anything to give me incentive to think that we're…okay.

She was on her computer, typing something. An e-mail to her mother I hoped; she rarely went on for anything else, especially considering her turn paper days would be suspended for some time.

We had to talk, needed to, but I could come up with nothing to say, nothing could quite get my point across anyhow. I could only hope that she herself or anything, relevant or not, would instigate a reasonable argument.

As the typing ceased, and light footfalls grew steadily quieter as she left her room, my window of opportunity opened.

I slipped through the sill quietly and sat on her bed. It was amazing how even though I'd become so familiar with her bedroom and the whole interior and exterior of her house, the scent of her was still overwhelming.

And then I realized precisely why I was here. That mere thought was all the instigation I needed.

She gasped as she walked in, almost spilling the cup of tea she held in her unsteady hands; my unplanned visit had startled her.

"Edward…" she muttered, trying to slow the beating of her heart.

"I'm sorry if I scared you…I should have called first." I said, stalling for time. I wasn't quite sure what I would say yet.

"You could have prompted me by using the door…" she said lightly. She seemed to be in a good mood. I looked at her alarm clock to find it was after eleven and felt my eyebrows crease together. She smiled.

"Charlie's in La Push…all night fishing expedition." She said. Of course…in my haste I hadn't realized the missing car in the driveway. I nodded in response.

"What's wrong? You look…pensive." She inquired.

"Is it that obvious?" I said absentmindedly. She sipped her tea, waiting for a reasonable answer to her question.

"Humor me…"I began. She nodded, beginning to set the mug on the floor before I took it from her and placed it on the nightstand.

"I'm thinking of a word…which…describes a book but not the ideas within it, a valentine but not what it means to you…a flower but not its scent…" I explained. I had no clue of the word I was thinking of but left it up to her to help explain what I wanted to say. She averted her gaze as she thought to herself. Minutes passed before she spoke again.

"…tangible?" she suggested. I couldn't help but smile. I took her hands in mine.

"Yes, that's the perfect word. 'Tangible'…" I repeated.

"Bella….that's precisely the difference between two completely dissimilar aspects of yourself, two socially irrelevant halves: you and your scent." I slid closer to her, stroking her cheek with my thumb.

"I don't understand Edward…"she said. I narrowed my eyes, thinking of a better explanation as the tips of my fingers lightly traced the path down her neck.

"I suppose it's a matter of indulgence. I enjoy smelling your scent. But that's about as far as it can possibly go. I can't touch it, I can't feel it…" I paused to stroke her lips with my thumb.

"Now you, on the other hand, are tangible. I can indulge in your touch as you can indulge in mine…I can _feel_ you, and feel, to my very core, what your mere touch can do to me…I think it's quite reasonable to love both you and your scent Bella, two completely different things…" She had her eyes closed and I proceeded to kiss the nape of her neck as she tilted her head to give me access.

"Honestly Edward…it was because you were being so distant toward me, and the reason seemed to be something I could not control…I misinterpreted what you meant, even though you were telling me." I exhaled against her neck and moved to look her in the eye.

"I have to be like that, Isabella. To protect you. That is what will always matter, what it'll always amount down to; despite what you want…despite what _I_ want." Because sitting beside her is a possible risk, her protection is important to me. Myself, a danger to her more than any other thing that lurks out there, will not sit idly by and watch as she trips, as she stumbles, and get paper cuts…it's just not feasible.  
She looked downward and smirked.

"I know, and I can live with that." She said. And there it was; the flicker of disappointment in her eyes that lets me know that that isn't precisely what she wants to hear.

"You'll have to of course, but know Bella, that I'm getting better everyday. It will never be effortless, but it's easier to be with you now than it used to be." I said.

"Are you sure?" she asks. I eyed her quizzically.

"Bella, I've never been more su-" I say quickly but she places a finger to my lips as she bites nervously on her own.

"I mean-are you absolutely certain it's easier for you now?" I had now idea what to think or what to expect if I answered truthfully, I wish I knew what she was thinking.

"Try me" I tested. She flushed and grinned meagerly.

She began at the base of my neck and then raked her fingers through my hair, sending violent ripples of electricity down my spine, approaching me slowly she closed the space between us.

"You're provoking the beast" I warned her, though opposition lacked expression on my face. I willed her to continue.

"I'd hate to undermine the beast by failing to present any kind of challenge." She quipped. I smiled incredulously, very curious as to what she's planning. Her lips found mine then, beginning softly as I used to prompt her, but I wanted more.

I held her face between my hands, gently, but the fervor of my need could not be denied. I near pleaded for entrance and savored the sweet indulgence as I tasted her. She moaned beneath my lips and her body folded into mine. Warmth radiated from her in waves, and slowly I too was being reeled in with the growing intention of cooling her fevered skin and igniting my own.

I found my self wound about her, my form crushed atop hers as I made to explore the confines of her mouth further still. Her hips irked against mine and oh the temptation. My need for her is unprecedented. I've never felt anything remotely close to this.

I had to stop. Now.

With truly strenuous effort I pulled away and sat up beside her, my breath labored and ragged.

"What's wrong?" she asked, completely flustered. There was no way to answer such a question that would reflect favorably on myself.

"I think you know" I said solemnly. Slowly my eyes found hers. It was too difficult to decipher what I saw in her deep brown eyes, she's crushing me with the weight of her expression.

"I'm sorr-" she starts, but I interrupt.

"Don't. Never apologize to me." I said angrily. And as she turned away from me, fixing her clothes and her hair as it were, I became exceedingly disappointed in myself.

Though ten times formidable I continue to pale in comparison to the humans. She doesn't completely understand why they are so justifiably suited to her rather than myself, rather than vampires. Merely touching her requires mustering a certain level of discipline…how long would I have to keep her waiting?

Finding nothing to say and forgetting my manners I rose to make a very abrupt leave when she called out to me.

"Edward…where are you going?" It should have been obvious really; a room completely masked in her scent was no safe place to be at this moment.

"Fresh air." I said without looking at her. I could barely imagine the discomfort she was experiencing right now. My own guilty conscious would make certain I leave on a clean slate. "Although…your scent goes on for miles." I smirked. Within the radius of Fork's boundaries I've taught myself to distinguish her scent among the plethora of others. I've got it down to a science.

"You're not coming back…"she said. It was so very easy to misconstrue a question that isn't a question, like uncertain certainty I wasn't able to quite piece it together. I tried to read her eyes.

"Not indefinitely…not tonight." I said. She would have no idea how the memory of her beneath me would haunt me and taunt the beast who was too much of a coward to take her. I am a walking contradiction; both the predator and the prey.

"Sleep well" I bade her and left. Although, I couldn't really bring myself to leave. I needed to be near her but it was much too dangerous for her to be so close as to be able to touch her. I walked at a slow pace down to her living room and sat on the couch, waiting for the night to wane.

Though inaudible, I could smell the distinctive scent of her tears, and it made me wish I could cry myself. I caused her so much pain, so much sorrow, and all she had ever done to me was continue to accept me, though I had failed her time and time again. I would make a poor excuse for a husband and painfully regretted making her agree to such an idea.

I promised I would love her to best of my ability and would continue to do nothing less.

o.O.o

o.O.o.O.o

o.O.o

Sunrise is never definite in Forks. The clouds were so dark, if I were susceptible to sleep I wouldn't believe I'd have slept an entire night. Bella stirred a few times but I wasn't certain she was awake until I heard the creak of her door and her footfalls as she went to the bathroom.

Not so long after, she hurried downstairs, dressed as if she was going somewhere. Imagine her surprise to find me sitting on her couch in the same clothes I'd came in; everything was becoming routine.

She starred at me on the foot of the stairs, her mouth slightly open.

"You're still here…" she said quietly.

"Yes, I am. Did you sleep well?" She nodded and still hadn't moved.

To make my case clear, I patted the couch next to me, and waited as she slowly came to sit by me, strangely unsure of herself.

I felt a growl build deep within me as she sat on the far side, wary of me. Now who was being distant?

I pulled her into my lap and her body relaxed: a sign of resignation.

"Going somewhere?" I muttered against the crook of her neck. She sighed.

"I _was_…nowhere in particular though. I hoped I'd figure out by the time I started driving." She said.

"Not in this weather." I replied. She angled her head away from me to get a glimpse of the outside, which was just as bleak as it was minutes ago.

"I guess not…" she said, slouching against me and laying her head on my shoulder. I cradled her in my arms.

I'm sorry…about last night." She said, her heart rate climbing a few decibels.

"I was a fool to think I could handle it." I smirked hopelessly. "You give me reason to believe you've done this before." I accused. She laughed to herself.

"If only that were true…the body is a slave to its own impulses." She stated. How very insightful.

"No one knows that better than I do…regardless…Bella, I love you, please remember that the next time I say something idiotic or do something stupid. You deserve better." She sat up in my lap, stradling me tightly, facing me with an intense glare.

"You hear the minds of humans all the time. Why would you consider what you do anymore deplorable than what is considered the 'norm' among them?" I couldn't answer, I have heard the tendencies of the human mind and would no doubt become riled by the very prospect of a man like that with Bella…such a uncompromising situation.

"Besides…if I let you go, I'd be setting a standard, and…well, let's face it. You're impossible to beat." She smiled tenderly as my arms constricted her waist.

"You always set me up for failure…you should stop tempting me so." Her arms found their way around my neck.

"Promise not to run this time." She urged. I grinned and pushed her hair back, letting my finger run through the entire length.

"I promise" I said firmly and kissed her passionately.

o.O.o.O.o

**AN/Thank you all for the very supportive reviews. Criticism is welcome.**


	5. Psyche

**AN:/Just to let readers know, this chapter was personally very controversial, and from a view point of someone who hasn't written it (basically anyone besides me) it seems OOC and hard to understand. I'm sorry if my writing is too convoluted and out of character, really I am. /sweat drop/**

**o.O.o.O.o**

'_Hope is the quintessential human delusion; simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.' _I read.

Yet, entailed lies swarms of double standards and misconceptions. It was better to asses it that to factor a facetious law into my mind.

While governing the possibility that such a problematic line could be relevant to me I found myself in Carlisle's study. In the far left, on a mahogany wood washed pedestal was the 'source'.

A book of unimaginable depth; approximately four feet thick; I had no doubt it would contain answers to my questions.

In seconds flat I had sifted through the entire index in search of the glossary, which was certainly outdated but sufficient all the same. I began with the very first word.

Hope: **1. Confident desire…**a feeling that something desirable will happen.

I took my chances. I did posses some level of this 'confident desire' of which the dictionary speaks. I was confident of my own desires in the sense that I don't bother too ignore the potency of it …so impossible to do.

But wherein lies hope? Did I hope for _more_ desire? _Less_?...That doesn't seem just at all, besides, more or less was unimaginable. I already had enough to keep me up at night. Could it possibly be that I hoped something desirable will happen in terms of something I wanted to happen would come true?

Or on less lustful terms do my hopes for the future define my 'confident desire' to see it through?

So then what does confidence entail?...

**2. Likelihood of success…**something one wants done or wishes to be true.

Complete and utter drivel. More people are willing to bargain on shooting stars and dream catchers rather than Murphy's law: the idea that the possible worst and unexpected scenario will happen, which is more probable anyhow, sometimes just because you want perfection. He's the sole proprietor of the cruelties of reality, and proves you can't always have it your way, no matter how often you wish for it. Murphy himself seemed to be in the room with us during Bella's 'almost' birthday party; just there to wreak unnecessary havoc and complicate already complicated situations.

Yes, I did possess some of this hope. But this hope is 'quintessential', possibly obsolete. What would it matter if I had it in the first place? Would the quintessence negate the 'confident desire'?...

Quintessential: **1. Embodiment…**the purest or near perfect example

Or could a better translation be typical? Hope is quintessential? Hope is _typical_? For a being, or better yet, 'creature' that possesses no sense of normalcy, I couldn't possibly be typical, and cannot be accused of being so.

But suppose I was? Is typical bad? That couldn't be accurate; judging from the text, hoped seemed to be admirable.

As far as I was concerned I am only a pure and perfect example of a vampire, and nothing else.

… Did this mean I could not hope at all? Or rather that hoping was wrong and pretentious?

Human: **1. compassionately kind…**displaying a sense of approachability

This in itself is a quite complex definition. I was approachable by my own kind, but that contradicts the 'human' part. Does the fact I'm approachable to Bella make me human somehow, metaphorically speaking?

I had the potential to be compassionate, but had no intentions of 'displaying' my compassion in order to make me 'approachable'. I needed no more attachments than I already had. Less in my case is certainly more.

**2. Imperfect…**possessing flaws and weaknesses of a human, incomparable to a machine or divine being.

Another convoluted definition. Flaws can consequently fall into three categories; physical, mental, or persona, and no one addresses that about themselves.

If I considered the word 'weakness' for what it is than I more than likely come up with a few considerations. Bella is _my_ greatest weakness, and any other weaknesses I have is invariably tied to her.

I am not a machine, of which I'm quite decided, but….divine being? Vampires are knwon to be quite vile by both myth and nature, excluding factors such as individuality. 'Divine' is the very _last _word I'd use to describe what I am.

I sighed. No matter how I roll the dice I could not qualify as a human.

Delusion: **1. false belief…** a persistent faux belief held in the face of strong contradictory evidence

It was inevitable that I'd come full circle in the meanings of these words. I had my 'persistent faux belief': my growing sense of humanity, which I could be mistaking for something a little along the lines of 'understanding'. And the strong contradictory evidence is the fact that I'm not human, but a vampire. A whole other species.

It all seems to circulate around hope. Regardless of the fact that quintessence challenges hope, it is 'simultaneously' the source of my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. In order to have strength I must hope, but by the same I token I'm also exhibiting a level of weakness by doing just that.

Little is lost in my eyes and yet I had gone though all this mental tribulation just to find that I gained no clarity at all. The more it divulged the less I understood. I suppose this is why hope is a human delusion. I am incapable of sharing these same idiosyncrasies simply because I am not human. It's as if I never was human in the first place.

I guess it is probably a matter if indecision. In hope you give failure an opportunity to thrive, you open the door to Murphy and as such a strong expression, the most damage is done. Could it be that all the disaster that occurred that night was a result of my wishing things would go smoothly? Is it wrong to base everything that's happened on a premonition?

Maybe hope is less a human delusion but a weak fallacy for anyone who tries to reinforce what is bound to rupture.

Hence I will not hope, I will not make room for fissures of failures, nor will I wish, for something has to be too radical if I have to resort to that. I will not delude myself into seeing what is clearly not there and I won't accept the blunt meanings behind such quotes and set a standard of quintessence.

Having come up with a suitable conclusion to all this soul-searching I closed Carlisle's book and began making plans to see Bella.

**AN:/ I'd love to know your thoughts, please review. And THANK YOU all a million times over for the wonderful reviews I've already gotten. **


	6. Sweet Sacrifice

**AN:/I'm so sorry for the long wait, I've had no flippin' clue how to end this chapter and it still doesn't seem relevant, enjoy anyways**

From my window I could tell it would be another considerably sunny day, no such day for a vampire to be roaming about town, although… I'm growing tired of being inside. Three in a row…how confining.

I sighed and left for the portico. It seemed the others were making themselves busy elsewhere as I hadn't seen them in the great room where they usually were this time of day. I didn't mind though, I didn't need any distractions right this moment.

As the sunrise became more poignant, I heard Carlisle's guarded thoughts behind me.

"Good morning Edward." He said cheerfully, blatantly trying to reverse my mood. I sighed.

"Morning…" I uttered.

"And how do you feel?" he asked. I looked toward him suspiciously and his expression bore nothing but innocence, so I answered truthfully.

"A bit…nostalgic."

"Hmm…" he responded, a clear signal for elaboration.

"At one point I could clearly remember different aspects of my life-my human life I mean…it's alarming how they've faded…I wish I could still remember." I explained.

"Well…I didn't know you as anything more than a patient…your mother was a regular, constantly aware of the influenza that was spreading." He suddenly smirked.

"On one occasion she brought you into the clinic, certain you had the disease and ordered I catch it in the early stages. It was nothing more than a chronic cough, nothing some orange juice couldn't fix, of course, you knew that already. You were so embarrassed…" he laughed.

"I…don't remember…" I said sadly. The fact that I couldn't remember the better half of my past disgusted me. All I could distinctively recall was the pain of my becoming. Those mere three days had negated all the seventeen years that had come before them. Completely unacceptable.

"Sometimes you won't remember Edward. When it's completely irrelevant, when you're most trying to is when you will fail…I find I can remember more specifically having had some kind of natural reminder…something to prompt me…" he said.

"But how long has it been for you? I've had little more than a century and already I'm forgetting what her face looks like. I can barely remember what my own mother looked like."

"If it helps any…she was a stark reflection of yourself; a beautiful woman by anyone's standard." He paused, making his way down the walk that led into the orchard of Esme's creation behind the house, though I could still hear him very clearly.

"Memories are…insubstantial; even they fade, tear, wrinkle…disappear with time, just like photographs. They're never completely accurate and are almost always a mirror image of the idiosyncrasies from which you've made them…" I sighed again. I had no idiosyncrasies of old memories, inaccurate or not, to help make new ones. Sometimes I recalled voices. Different from the immediate ones, but had the basis of a long lost memory. Even so, they were mere echoes of what they should have been. He's right about one thing; they've slowly dissipated with time.

"Do you have any? Pictures I mean?" I asked hopeful, but part of me already knew the answer.

"Ha!" He exclaimed, and wheeled around to face me with laughing eyes.

"Edward, son, don't you believe that if I had had any photographs, any physical evidence at all to show you that I would have done so long ago?" I looked down, the actual verification was much more painful than answering the rhetorical question. He was at my side in seconds.

"It _was_ something I considered. I knew very well from experience that your memories would dwindle and disappear when I turned you. I thought of holding on to some memorabilia, some keepsake to give to you. But I had no idea what that would be, something that seemed important at the time might have meant nothing to you and might mean nothing now…" I shook my head rapidly.

"I would have taken anything." I assured him confidently. Surely, if he had given me anything, the tiniest memento, I knew I'd feel more human, I knew I'd be able to delve _something _from the abyss of my human memories. If only he had…the thought alone would be enough.

"Probably…most likely…" he doubled back, and continued on down the walk."

"Then?" I asked, wishing for more. If he could have done it why wouldn't he? What would make him decide against it? I urged him to say something.

"Well…you were the first person I changed. Not that I haven't thought about it before but the opportunity was there and my ethics were misapplied. It was similar to stealing money for the first time: I was _very_ paranoid. Ascertain that someone would notice that you had suddenly ceased to exist, and they'd discover what you became and in turn, what I already was, and that it was all my fault, and on a larger scale, our entire existence!" he was talking faster and louder with each word before calming down and turning toward me.

"So I stole you away, selfishly I might add, I could already imagine myself as your father." He laughed. "I was so afraid of suspicion, rather than keep your things, I got rid of it all…and for that I apologize." I rose my hand to ward it off.

"That's…reasonable, no need for apologies." I said quietly.

"Perhaps not, but I feel it is due." I sighed, and suddenly had thoughts of Bella and her need to become one of us. I was wary of my question and took several minutes to formulate it properly.

"Do you think it would be…hard for her? To live like we do?" I asked cautiously. It was hard enough to be with us in association, merely knowing of us came with its own ramifications, I can't imagine what it would be like had she _become _one of us.

"It will never be easy." he said. I snorted impatiently. So many times I've expressed this, but she refuses to hear what is good for her, a natural born death runner.

"My feelings haven't changed, I don't want to do it and I don't want _you _to do it either." I said sharply.

"Any father would agree if any had the option: if it becomes a matter of life and death, which it will considering she's human, I'd hate to lose either of you. _Your _feelings concerning _that_ matter are quite invalid." he said with authority. I could never convince myself he would go against me in such a sensitive situation, but to be defied now…

"You don't understand! Our considerations aren't the same! You worried about discovery, I worry about _her_! You of ALL people should know that becoming a _vampire_ is not something one asks for, she has no idea what she wants, I will never subject her to finding out." I said heatedly, knowing that my words were in vain. He would not change his mind, but I wanted my opinion to be crystal clear.

He sighed.

"It seems I understand more than you. Bella may not know what she's asking for, but she knows very well what she wants. And for the sake of you both, I will give her that. Can't you empathize? You honestly would rather die with her than to live with her, however long that would be?" he asked, his brow furrowed. I turned away; my conflicted expression would send the wrong message.

"No…but if there was some other way-"

"There _is _no other way Edwa-"

"I've heard enough." I concluded. I _know _that I can't have Bella forever and keep her humanI _know _what she wants, and I _know_ to my core that there's no other way. I pledged long ago that the day of her death would be the day of mine also, I shouldn't have to condemn her to eternal damnation to prove I love her, and she shouldn't have to do it for me.

Carlisle was silent as I stalked away, out of any sorts I'd had, and no longer in the mood for conversation. I could no longer be in this house, a place occupied by vampires, without becoming angry. I got my keys from my bedroom, and was in my car hitting the asphalt of the main road in less than a minute. I would not go to see her, not now, not when she stands the chance of bringing up the subject and making me even _more _irate than I already am. I took the one-oh-one and needed no help finding the cutoff that lead to the meadow.

There, among the placid flora and fauna, under the azure sky, I was somewhat sedated. But not entirely. I concluded that there was nothing I could do to change Carlisle's mind, to convince Bella that she might want differently. There was nothing I could do to stop them from making the decision, to express my reasons for keeping her human. I found it near useless to do anything at all.

And then I smelled a familiar scent, less then a half a mile away. I rose from my laid position in the meadow's center to a more abrasive one to correlate with how I felt.

"You _followed_ me?!" I yelled, louder than necessary.

"Some one has to calm you down." Said Alice's small voice. Incredible, she knew better than to intervene, especially when I'm at odds, not something I like to share with the others. Being of the same species, we tend to drift on a different wavelength…it's hard to keep secrets. I snorted and ignored her.

"Carlisle's right you know-"

"_And _you eaves dropped. Class, Alice, class…"I hissed angrily. I was too angry to accept criticism, far too angry to listen to opposition. As far as I'm concerned it's either agree with me or contribute nothing at all.

"Edward…"she whined. "Carlisle wouldn't do this if he didn't think-"

"What of what _I_ think? Since when did _my _opinion cease to matter? What right does _he_ have to contest _my _decision? YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT ANGERS ME!" I roared through clenched teeth, pulverizing a shale stone within my balled fist. Alice was quiet, calculating. To little avail however; there was nothing she could say to make me think differently.

"Edward…"she pleaded now.

"I don't wish to hear it."

"Think of how great it would be to have her forever, to not have to worry anymore." She said, her eyes gleaming, convincing…but not quite.

"Worrying is my obligation, worry does_ not _faze me." I claimed harshly. Alice growled, the sparkle in eyes completely diminished.

"What kind of life is lived completely in worry? Face it, you like the concept Edward, you're just afraid."

"Speculation." I denied.

"Edward, it makes sense. To have to run from predators, go to all that trouble at the expense of a three day transformation? If I could, I would have done it already." She said as a matter of fact.

"And you said you were here to calm me down…"I muttered. Alice was helping very little.

"Maybe one day you'll see the good in this…Is it so hard for you to believe you might actually be _happy?_"

"I'm happy _now_, excuse me if I'm not willing to give that up." Alice really could not fathom for a second why I would go through to so much trouble to defend my cause. It had a lot to do with the prospect of eternal damnation but more to do with what could change.

_Bella…_I could not bear to change what is already so perfectly suited to me, what is and will forever be, in death, in sickness, in age, so unrequitedly beautiful. Then I felt a strong desire to be with her, despite my rage, despite the irrationality.

I exhaled and fell back into plush shrubbery, trying my hardest to disband most of my anger before going to see her.

"Do you think that's best? Seeing her right now? You know how she is…" she said, somehow seeing my decision to go to her.

"Well, since everyone is so set against me I might as well seize the only moments I'll have left." I whispered solemnly.

"Dammit Edward, it's not death, it's something to look forward to." She tried again.

"If only you'd had that sense of comparison, if only you'd remember being a human, you might understand why I feel this way…why I'm so reluctant to change her." I could tell by her scent that I'd struck a nerve, I felt a slight twinge of guilt.

"What if…" she exhaled sharply, suppressing something, I didn't know. "…What if it's a change for the better?" she said meagerly. For a split second I grasped that she might have been referring to herself, but all thoughts inevitably turned to Bella at once.

"Is that an insult?" I snorted, too blinded by the ghost of rage to think coherently and consider what Alice was actually telling me. She made an impatient sound and when the silence caught up with me I turned my head to find she was gone.

I sighed and threw my head back once more before rising.

I'd have to deal with Alice later.

o.O.o.O.o

I was only there about half an hour, humming a tune to the cadence of her breathing, before she awoke. I allowed her a minute to be human before deciding upon my entrance. I knocked twice upon her window, and she responded by calling out my name in question.

Honestly, who else would it be?

I could smell her approach but slipped through before she could open it.

"You're up early" she said sardonically and I smirked in response.

"Something the matter?" she asked. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair lackadaisically before seating my self on her bed.

"I couldn't possibly bear to explain the complexity of 'what is the matter'" I quipped disconcertedly. Apparently, my anger was still having a lasting affect.

"I hate it when you speak in tongues…"she muttered, knowing that I'd hear her anyway. I thought silently to myself for a time and then out loud.

"It's complicated…" I tried. She rolled her eyes.

"Right, way above my human head."

"Bella…" I growled. If I could comprehend all the erratic thoughts running though my mind then _maybe _I'd be able to reiterate, but as of now… completely blank.

"Did something…happen?" she asked.

"Well, I might've dug my own grave, if you…know what I mean…" I made frequent glances toward her as she furiously brushed though her hair and lost my train of thought. I got up and stood close behind her, taking the brush from her hands. She was over stimulating the air with the delicious scent of her hair and I can't concentrate.

She straightened, and I began stroking through her hair, slowly but decidedly, using my free hand to retrace my path. Much to my surprise, she moaned angrily. I could hear her heartbeat quicken.

"I knew you only came here to make trouble" she said sternly, a smile touching her lips. She wheeled around, snatching the brush from me which I calmly let her have. Throwing her hair over her left shoulder she resumed her rapid handiwork while motioning in front of the window.

Intrigued, I followed.

My arms involuntarily enfolded her waist and my head lowered to the crook of her neck.

"Not at all. I've been more or less stuck inside for three days now, I'm more than satiated…and you know what that means." I slowly caressed her skin with my lips. Completely flustered, she ceased her brushing.

"What?" she whispered.

"There's nothing holding me back." I said, my words slightly muffled against her skin, and began kissing her neck.

Shifting my trial of kissing across her shoulder, I hugged her tighter to me, her warmth drawing me closer…tempting me…

"I've got to get to school in twenty minutes…" she breathed. I drew in a deep breath though my nose and smirked.

"You're going to be late." I said and kissed her until the morning waned.

**AN:/ The Official Rephrase: I plan on writing a 'part 2' to this chapter, it's got a lot of loose ends, whether or not that will be next chapter is still undecided. I'm running out of ideas here, PLEASE don't hesitate to give suggestions.**

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	7. The Essence of Evil

**AN:/ This chapter was inspired by M. Night Shyamalan's "Unbreakable. Old movie I know, but I watched it again recently and immediately began outlining a chapter in my head. It could be longer but I just couldn't formulate most of my feelings concerning the movie. It's really quite deep. If you like the chapter, then maybe you'd like the movie. Check it out sometime. **

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My relationship with Bella has the tendency to put things into perspective, whether a revelation I've had or a characteristic about myself. And everyday it's something new. 

The predicament in itself was obscure and I suppose it makes me far too perceptive; possibly too analytical for my own good.

It was the day of the graduation ceremony. My brothers and sisters and I had inevitably gathered in a clannish manner after Bella was whisked away from me by her friends who, in the end, had given up Bella's hope of befriending me. Typical and highly expected.

The entire graduating senior class had congregated in the cafeteria awaiting the start of the ceremony as the staff prepared their opening statements, clad in the traditional robes, as well as myself. The room was buzzing with activity; no one was sitting down. I highlighted Bella's face as she moved about the room excitedly, and I was suddenly lifted from my jaded sentiment. This would be her first time holding a high school diploma; I would be in high spirits in order to support her.

As she remained in steady conversation with Jessica, Mike, Angela and a few others I recognized, my eyes tended to wander to everyone of them, I was curious as to what the contrast would be from their facial expressions to their thoughts based on an expose' I was currently studying, which had much to do with the genius behind lie detectors. The sensors are drawn by the neurological electric signals in the brain triggered the heat of your skin, the pitch of your voice, and your muscle tension in response to the thought of an answer one will give. Most believe them able to read minds.

Jessica's deviously fraudulent thought processes were in stark contrast with her expression and the current conversation. The set of her jaw tensed and lapsed at abnormal intervals, mostly when the conversation was lightest. Someone said something funny at some point, but even though she laughed the pitch had a slight falsetto and the set of her jaw was tense. Usually I would pass this off as nothing, her thoughts far too impertinent to listen to anyway, but seeing as Bella was standing next to her, the distinction between the heat in their skin, the timbre of their voices, and the tautness of their most commonly used muscles was simply amazing.

Thus, I came to a conclusion.

Evil has to exist to make the discrepancy between what is good and what is not.

'Good', in its purest form, whatever that may be, cannot exist without evil, cannot be defined, because 'good' can only be 'good' in comparison with evil.

Without evil to pale in comparison with good, a sense of incongruity is missing and a customary standard is set.

I am that which does not seem to be appropriate in the humane context, I am the supposed evil that gives good its definition. And in being with Bella is where the divergence is made.

…Because the shark has to retain a deafening quality for the angel fish to reign in its divinity.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Emmett asked me and surprisingly, though I had spent the past ten minutes brooding on the very subject, I could not explain. I made a hesitant sound to attempt to verbalize what was going on in my mind.

"…nothing." I gave up.

He nodded.

"Just curious…" I began. "Why do you think humans lie?" I asked. Emmett gave me a questioning glance but I merely kept staring in Bella's direction, my head titled slightly as I was still in deep thought.

Emmett snorted.

"To make 'em look better than they really are."

I looked up at him then. "Do you…think Bella would lie to me?" He had that solicitous look in his eye again as he answered warily. And by the evidence of facial structure I'd gathered, I could tell I had piqued the others' interests.  
He shrugged.

"I doubt she has a dishonest bone in her body." I thought for seconds more.

"How can you tell?" He hesitated, choosing his words his words carefully, something he rarely did.

"Well…I can't, usually…but standing next to them is when I see it the most."

If in association with me is where her goodness is realized, then at the very least I can understand what my purpose is.

For the scariest thing of all is to exist without reason, without a place…

And then truth mattered very little to me, I took solace in that fact alone.

**AN:/Uh...is it just me or am I getting repetitive? I feel as if I've used that line before...I'm losing it. Click that button and review! **


	8. Fidelity

**AN:/ Sorry about the hiatus, my creative mind went on vacation. I can't promise updates at regular intervals though, but I have other stories in the works. So please look forward to those! Like I said before, _Exodus..._will never be over because there is no story line. Some of the many chapters I had written were truly story length material and I will showcase them very soon.**

**Enjoy.

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Rounding the path that would take me to Bella, I was hit with the strongest of her scent I'd smelled in a long time which could only mean that it was raining and she's in it.

And though the scent itself had heightened my awareness, as a part of me plotted to revel in this scent, I can only but be concerned as to what put her in such a position. Charlie had to be out someplace, or Bella would never find the chance to stand in the rain.

I plodded lightly to the rear of her house, to find, as I expected, Bella standing in the midst of the downpour, he face bent to the sky, Whistler's Mother having been with her, forcing such a usually vivacious person into the saddest example of a distilled statuette I'd ever seen.

I looked on for moments more, moved by the beauty of her frame amid the surrounding inundation, and yet unmoved by the force of such an alluring scent. Watching more, her eyes reflecting the glint held in the dew strewn grass below her, imperturbable by rain or discovery, a vast assortment of emotions, all irrelevant to each other, had overwhelmed me.

Unable to comprehend such a feeling, I sank against the wall of her blind spot, and watched her still.

After minutes, her clothes sticking to her and her scent turning sickly, I decided I could not allow her to remain in the rain like this.

Then I heard a sharp intake of breath escape her lips as a lone star rocketed across the horizon, sending brilliant hues of ginger colors athwart the sky. And as stark as the transition from night to day, the depth in her eyes seemed to return.

"I wish I could do for you what you've done for me. I wish I could feel competent around you…that I could even imagine spending a lifetime with someone I don't deserve. I guess that makes _you _the idiot."

I shook my head apprehensively, denying the corporeal words of her soliloquy.

"Maybe things would be different if I were like you…"

"Bella" I breathed, stepping from the shadow the ledge offered, but her human ears could not heed my approach above the soft drone of the rain.

"Maybe I wouldn't feel so guilty." I shook my head slower yet, and began in her direction. She gasped as I came unto her, the effervescence she once bore intermitted by the painful expression that streaked her beautifully rare features.

"Now do you know what it feels like to be blinded by the resolution of a star?" I said to her. She did not reply.

At her discretion, I decided long ago, that I _could_ make this work, that I _could not_ live without her. What reason would she have to feel ill at ease about her place in a relationship with me, the man who would want nothing more than to give her life knowing that I could kill her? She hasn't any idea what power she has over me. Deluded by the mirage that was meant for human eyes, maybe she _wouldn't _feel this way if I changed her.

Brushing away strands of brown hair that had matted against her face, I took her into my arms.

"Rather than the truth, you chose to dim the blunt reality and adjust your eyes to see _the _most hypocritical illusion. No, Bella, _you_ are the idiot."

In an event she would usually lance my verbal attack with one of her own, she instead slumped against my chest and began to cry, the salted droplets lost in the downpour.

Smoothing fresh tears from her cheeks I held her chin to my eye level.

"Is it so hard for you to believe that I might want you? Despite the unchangeable fact that I _need_ you?"

"Edwar-"

"I want this body, this face, this scent, and your spirit forever. I'm afraid I'm quite decided. I need you forever. It's an extreme concept, but I need you to understand that you can't change this. Your foolish wishes are simply that."

By giving voice to the private desires of my heart, I was practically challenging fate to intervene, and yet I cannot bring myself to fear the inevitable.

Her face morphed into a pained expression as her mind governed the possibility of my words and from this I knew that nothing I could verbally say would change the way she thought of me, of herself. Time, was, by all accounts, the most valuable implication.

_I_ had plenty…

For a moment, the prospect I avoided to think about formulated in amorphous but discernable visions in my mind; Bella, no longer a human, but like me. I could find that I might be happier in the same way I might discover I'd made a terrible mistake, overall, the decision is too definite for me to make the choice. But the idea…I suppose it is foreseeable…

I sighed, she wouldn't understand me today…but someday she might.

"For the sake of us both, let's go inside." I said, taking her hand in the confines of my own and leading her to the haven of her house. Up the stairs, safely in her room, even after changing out of her damp clothes, she refused to say anything.

"Tell me what you're thinking." I asked, already knowing that I might not get an answer. As assumed, she made a sound as if attempting to speak, but gave in with a sigh.

I could take this no longer. Holding her face in my hands I forced her to look at me.

"This has to stop, you're not yourself. Why-" I was interrupted with a sneeze.

"I think I'm catching a cold." She said, looking at me from under her lashes with the most sympathetic expression. And my plea was all but forgotten, lost in the depths of her eyes. I began to speak but could only manage a meager smile.

I raised suddenly, and dashed at a normal pace for me down the stair and into the kitchen. When she felt a little under the weather I'd often catch her drinking spiced Chai tea. Not wanting to leave her or be away from her for too long, I was hasty in the heating process and was back in her room within minutes.

Planting in front of her she sneezed yet again and took the steaming mug from my hands.

"Thank you." She said.

"You're welcome." I replied.

"What took you so long?" she asked, and I tried to suppress my smile but with little avail.

"I'm sorry. I'm afraid I lack the power to heat liquids." She smiled for the first time tonight, laughing in short breaths. She sneezed again, allowing the searing liquid to spill on her hands, and with a sharp intake of breath, dropped it all together.

"Ow, ow, ow! Hot!" she cooed, blowing on her hands.

With a sigh I seized the mug and placed it on the floor and then she left the room. Hearing the faucet run on and off at different intervals, I situated myself in her room. I could help it no longer and began to chuckle. I guess I was happy that she was acting clumsily, it's the way she is and the way I'd rather have her.

"Hardly something to laugh about _Edward."_ She said. Placing my hands behind my head and stretching out.

"Ah, I didn't think you could hear me." I lied playfully.

"I guess trying to hear you has given me a trained ear." She smiled. But for some reason I wasn't happy with it, I could not force my self to smile back. If she thinks she can beat around this bush and avoid talking about it she's very wrong.

"Speaking of hearing Bella…" I tried, testing whether or not she'd sense my advances.

"Hm?" she answered, giving me free reign.

"Did you hear anything I told you tonight? Can you absorb what I said to you?" I asked, not bothering to relax my stare. I couldn't stop looking at her.

"Is that an option or an order?" she replied in a way that made me feel she was rebelling against me.

"The first is a question that I already know the answer to…the second is a demand." I said while changing my pose to get closer to her.

"You made me cry Edward…" she said, hiding her eyes behind a fan of wet hair.

"I'm sorry if my words were a bit brash, but you see, for you to believe that I can't possibly love you is…very frustrating." I explained and saw another tear ride down her porcelain skin.

"It's not that…" she began.

"Then?" I anticipated.

"Do you realize the position you put me in? I wonder everyday if I'm living up to your standards. It's awkward for me, having no experience whatsoever, I'm not keen to what you want." She said, her voice breaking slightly. I exhaled audibly and ran my hand up her cheek and into her hair, gripping it slightly so that I could see her face centimeters from mine.

"You've set the standard, Bella. There's never a time when I don't think I'm good enough for you, in fact, I'm not 'good' enough for you. If you think I'm radiating with confidence you're very wrong, I just know what I want, and it's ashamed you're not keen to it. How many times must I say that I want you? Doesn't it make me appear over eager? Of course, if you want me to me say it again I'd be happy to-"

"That's okay…I'm really confused right now." She said, averting her gaze again. She could not avoid me, I'd make sure of that. I moved in closer, my gaze fierce and unrelenting.

"Then why fight me?" I breathed and let instinct take over. She was hesitant at first, resisting the plea of my lips for some strangely perverse reason. Holding her face gently with my free hand, I eliminated any chance of escape.

Even when given the chance to satiate my desires, kissing her only took it to new heights. Our lips fused seamlessly, the taste of her never fails to send me reeling. In her arms I felt secure, this felt natural and I could barely help myself as my hands tangled greedily in her hair.

I pulled my needy lips from hers for a fraction of a second, just enough time for her to question me.

"Edward…" she whispered but the passion was missing. My Bella was for once being cautious, but tonight I would prove, by any degree, that I was strong enough for the both of us.

"Shh" I whispered gently pushing her onto her back. The heat of her body made my cold one feel so welcome I could hardly find the strength to stop. I directed the attention of my lips to her neck and her body arched in response. If even possible, her scent becomes three times better when she's like this…or I may be having sensory overload. One wrong move could ruin this and yet she was so sure of herself it only managed to entice me more.

This, I knew, was a dangerous sensation. And as much as I would give to satisfy her…my self, I would never put her safety at liberty.

And so I began to pull away but my mind nor my body was ready for her reaction.

Her hands fisted my collar as she wrapped her legs around me, forcing my torso against her and confining me into position. And then it wasn't a matter of breathing, there seemed not to be any air in the room at all.

My chest became heavy, I felt for sure the heat would wash over me and she would drag me in so deep I'd be lost to her forever.

"Relax Edward, I trust you" she breathed, he voice laden in pleasure. And it was enough to subdue me.

I was hers once more, crushing my all too heavy form against her, my lips yearning to taste her.

I'm beyond rationality in this state. I was far from my inner consciousness or the voices that occupied my mind each day. It seems I had finally found my one escape and I was happy, able, and willing to explore where this would take me.

But even though I felt independent of everything around me, there was one sound that concerned me…

A car.

Charlie's car.

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AN:/ Hints, comments, jokes...? Continuatuion of this chapter coming soon... 


	9. Fidelity II

**AN:// Yes, here it is, the conclusion to Fidelity...(I am especially attached to this chapters. ((Ready your tissues, you have been warned))**

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o.O.o

I could hear, with perfect clarity, how the tires of the cruiser skidded into the drive…and not long after, how the engine cut with a hollow thud. And still, how Charlie jimmied with the keys he hastily forced into the lock of the car door. He would walk through the mahogany doorway and verbally announce his arrival, merely to see if he'd get a reply from Bella. He did this everyday without fail.

And yet, here I was, boldly refusing to remove my lips from her neck.

The predator stalked his unknown prey with frustrating ignorance. Frustrating for me, that is, because I knew that nothing would delay his entrance to the house. Nothing within the realm of possibility anyhow. Chief Swan was oblivious as to what was currently going on in his daughter's bedroom.

And she was making very difficult for me to steal away.

And that too, frustrated me. I understood the importance of leaving. I did not have to read Charlie's mind to guesstimate his response. No, I desperately needed to leave as quickly and as quietly as if I'd never been here at all.

Charlie had to have been tired from whatever he was doing today, because his unbuckled his holster early and it hit the frame of the door as his fingers graced the brass knob, jerking the mechanics and making a sound that made my body stiffen.

Bella noticed this and I felt my breath catch.

I finally pushed myself away from her, an act that mimicked my strength, and the expression on her face unnerved me. She seemed frightened.

But time refused me tonight.

"Fix your hair." I plainly demanded. The look on her face morphed into one of irritation.

"I love you too Edward." She retorted, her breath labored. I groaned…Charlie would never believe she'd been doing an isotonic activity worth her panting. I took in her face…her hair was disheveled, as I had made it to be. Her lips were reddened, and slightly swollen, again my fault. And her eyes…they continued to pulse with need…

_That_ I could do nothing about.

Charlie could not see her like this.

"Bella…" I groaned again, unable to hide the disappointment there. The sound of my voice fused with the simultaneous slap of the door, hitting its frame.

And then Bella's anxiety tripled mine.

Her eyes bulged and she began to furiously rake her fingers through her hair…as if that could help the mess I'd made of it. I reached for the brush on the nightstand, too fast for her to see, and handed it to her. She said nothing as she hastily tried to fix her clothes as they were and brush through her thick mass of damp, tangled hair.

"Bells?!" Charlie yelled, with what I feared was anticipation. He wouldn't meet her up here…would he? I tore through the confines of his mind.

Before she replied, she seemed to have read my thoughts.

"You should leave" She whispered loudly, not looking at me. Her breath hadn't slowed. "I'm coming Dad!" she yelled back.

A feeling over came me that I didn't recognize, having never felt it before. My body felt unnaturally cold. But it wasn't an immediate coldness, as my skin was always cold, and it wasn't a definite drop in temperature either…It was simply a draft vacancy felt in the absence of warmth. I was chilled, so to speak, now that I was no longer in contact with her skin. And my mood began to somber.

"Oh the irony" I sigh, falling back onto her bed.

"Edward…"she warned.

"Fear not, Bella…" deliberately sounding melodramatic. This was a direct result of post hysteria. "He won't catch me."

"That's not what concerns me…" she said, while briefly looking at me with an expression I couldn't read. And then she left to her father.

I listened to Charlie's mind as he took in her appearance and laughed in short breaths as he mistook it as an on coming cold…he can think whatever pleases him. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

Bella's footsteps resonated from down the hall and I seated myself in the rocking chair. She walked in with an appeased expression, relieved, but still uncomfortable. She motioned to her hands and I tightened my lips to stifle my laughter.

"Charlie sent me up here with Tylenol and a glass of water…. He wouldn't take no for an answer. Do I really look that bad?" she sighed, setting both items on the nearest nightstand and stretched out across her bed.

I scoffed.

"Human eyes have poor judgment. You look overwhelmingly attractive." I said, appearing next to her. She covered her face with her hands.

"Ugh…please, that's what got us into this mess in the first place." I smiled in hilarity.

"Well, you _were_ my accomplice, don't forget." She rolled her eyes.

"Like I ever could forget _that_…" I could feel the smirk playing on my lips, she would not like the question I would ask her.

"I'm curious though. Usually, you'd have me stay with you, hide in your closet even, as if I could ever leave you anyway, and yet, you _wanted_ me to leave. Why is that?" I asked, idly tuning her palm over in my own. She hung her head…in embarrassment? The way her cheeks flushed confirmed my assumption.

"I was dreading the outcome." She admitted.

"Why?" I asked, incredulous.

"I'm not sure…I didn't want you to start calculating again. I feared you might think you were making a nuisance of yourself if I had gotten into trouble with Charlie. And you would already know how he'd react…"

"But that's precisely why I didn't leave. I thought you might be overly conscious about what your father would make of our little exploits in your room…" I winked and she turned scarlet again.

"…So I had to see that Charlie went unsuspecting. If I did leave, that would only confirm that Charlie was suspicious. And like I said, he would never catch me." Her brows furrowed in question.

"But don't you feel just a _little _ashamed? I never dreamed- " I idly wondered if Bella ever got tired of blushing(or subjecting me to it). "-that _we_ would be the ones caught doing anything." I waited…her tone was incredulous. Just what exactly was that supposed to mean?

"…Because I am a vampire incapable of being caught doing anything by a human?" I said sternly, but sardonically. I knew that she was touching on the fact that our intimate lives were frankly devoid of...intimacy. And _she _knows very well that it is like this to keep her alive.

"…And that I suppose." She said, somehow amused by my seriousness. I wasn't letting on, I'd come so close to losing her more than once, as far as I was concerned it was no joking matter.

"If you don't mind I'd rather not toy with talk of hurting you." She sighed heavily and seemed to accept this.

And then she stared at me with the strangest expression. Her face took on several different contortions at once and I found it strangely difficult to decipher the meaning behind them.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked her. She sat up with her legs crossed and held that same expression as she stared down at me. I rose to meet her. Our bodies inches away.

"I'm just…very surprised, appalled even, you know, that you could handle-" I put a finger up to stop her.

"It wasn't without effort…never so." I responded generally, hoping, that that would be the end of it. But I could see the interest boiling in her eyes…could almost smell the question on her lips, and yet I hadn't a single response prepared.

"But…what changed?" she asked. Minutes went by before I answered.

"Sometimes…" I exhaled, deciding not to think of the words as I spoke them, to avoid a matter of honesty. Anything I said would be truthful. "…it helps to be with you when I put my life into transition. One day, in the foreseeable future I'm sure, I hope to become as practiced as Carlisle. It satisfies me to think that, had I met you in that century, at a point in my existence when I'm nearly unaffected by the tenor of human blood that I could love you simply and purely without a reason to distance you…" I rose my eyes to meet hers, not realizing that I had broken contact at all.

"Of course, I'd still be a danger to you, I accept that…as well as the fact that I might never grow immune to that irresistible scent of yours in this century or the next…but minutes ago, being with you so intimately like that, I realized that it wasn't your scent that drove me, it was simply my attraction to you. I found myself yearning to taste your skin…somehow unconcerned of the contents beneath it." And I felt my lips break into a large smile, exposing nearly all of my teeth. I was amazed by the pleasure this gave me, for the action was still foreign to me.

"However reckless and impulsive that was, I've been instilled with a new hope now that I know it is possible to be better than what I am…" I laughed to myself. "That's why I find this ironic."

In response to something I said, her eyebrows furrowed…in anger? And just like so many times I wished I could read her mind, I wanted to know everything she's feeling and why she's feeling them.

"What is it?" I asked. I could see that she was restraining herself from resolving the matter that had forced her expression into one of anger. But then she looked down, relaxed her face, and looked at me with knowing eyes, as if we'd been through this before.

"I don't get it. If that's how you feel, then why wouldn't you give yourself that option?" she said, her eyes pleading with me. It took me seconds to understand what she meant, but she answered before I could.

"If I could live for centuries the way you do, then you would never have to contend with my scent at all…So many reasons to change me and only one to keep me human." I could feel my face twist with rage.

"That one reason to keep you human…" I riled. "…out weighs all the others." She averted her gaze to thwart my resentment. I gently turned her chin to face me.

"You can try and equalize a life and a soul as much as you want. You can say that eternity with me is worth it, but you can't beat truth Bella. You can only _imagine_ how any life could be lived with no soul, and that is how it will stay."

She stared at my unwavering expression before turning her head sharply to release my fingers…I didn't fight her.

"Fine." She seethed, and laid back down facing away from me. Her anger was conceivable, even before I'd said what said. But then again…so was mine.

I had never missed the water until the well ran dry. I had never appreciated humanity more until I was no longer human. The memories haunted me like the softest touch that hovered above my skin, pressing down on me with a force that I could hardly feel, a hairsbreadth of pressure. But though I couldn't remember, I knew! I knew the thoughts that ran through my mind as I lain helplessly on my sickbed. I cursed my weakness, what kind of man was I? After the first wave had passed over me, after already taking my father, I thought I had won! I was filled with false hope, determined to forever evade the influenza, and be there to support my mother. But reality had reared its ugly head, and struck with a blow I was unprepared for. My mother ended up being the one to try, however futile, to nurse me back to a health I'd never see and contracted the disease herself from the cloud of dirty air that hung over me. And she was sooner to die because of me.

But yet…I had never blamed my weakness on the fact that I was human. I had no reason to. What other sentient being existed over a human?

And then…when I was reborn…I was weaker…for many more reasons, and this, disgusted me.

Being too weak to love her disgusted me.

I ignored her stubbornness and laid down next to her wrapping my arms firmly around her and pressing my lips to her hair, ignoring her coldness.

"I can offer you this alone, because it's the only kind of pain I can stand to put you through." I whispered.

And as we laid there in silence I was left to wonder if she hadn't already cried enough tears for the both of us.

o.O.o

**AN:/Please review.**


	10. Cry Wolf

**AN:// Before you torture with that pitch fork, there were several explanations for this hiatus, which were all, justifiable...to me anyways. My attempt at making crywolf its own story ended in failure, and the release of eclipse made most of my future chapters obsolete. But I decided to unleash all the 'would-have-been' chapters just for the hell of it, regardless of the possible clash with the actual story line. (And yes, this is a repost of Cry Wolf, I never released the next piece to this one so it has to be here)**

**Enjoy! There are only a few minor changes, it won't be necessary to reread it I think.**

"Charlie's been spending a lot of time with the Blacks don't you think?" I suggested. I didn't particularly like it when Bella had any type of connection to them, even if it's association by association. Charlie was making that difficult.

"They've been friends for a long time. Besides, now that I'm exercising more of my independence he doesn't feel so bad about leaving me by myself." She shrugged. I scoffed in mock incredulity.

"I believe Charlie enables your 'independence' because you just can't stop pushing the envelope. Smells like cloak and dagger to me, and my nose doesn't lie." I took my eyes off the road in time to see her grave expression.

"You think my dad's plotting against me? That's horrible Edward!" she rebelled. I breathed and jogged the speed of my car up to 90.

"Are you in a hurry or something?" she said nervously clutching the edge of her seat.

"Not really, though I should get you home quickly. I'm a little excited and you should probably know why." I told her, testing the waters. She waited as I delegated just how to explain that I was planning to dip my fingers into Quileute blood.

"Well?" she insisted. Purposely looking away from her, I began to explain.

"There's no point in being subtle, you know how persistent the wolves are about territories."

"They do have na-" she began

" If they're quite serious about borders and what not then, surely, they expect us to be serious about them too. It makes sense, if they want us to keep our distance they'll draw a line, which they have, and expect us to keep behind it, which we've done." I paused.

"I don't see where th-"

"I'm not finished. Now, in the matter of truce and agreement, do not both parties have to agree to the terms of the treaty?...I'm sorry, you can speak now." I looked to her apologetically.

"Um…yeah, it's only fair."

"Precisely as you say, it's only fair." I said happy to have made my point.

"Did they break some kind of border?" she said impatiently. I smirked.

"Yes, and dating back to the very beginnings of human history what usually happens when one party invades another's?" I asked, finally connecting the two points of my explanation. The expression on her face was relentless, I could tell she'd caught on very quickly.

"W-war?" she tried. He voice gravely smallish.

"Naturally." I replied nonchalantly. The fury in her deep brown eyes shone like a beacon in the night.

"Does the thought of war entertain you Edward?" she asked, clearly disgusted.

"To a degree, I'll admit." She scoffed and looked away from me, crossing her arms tightly over chest. A competitive nature, my being a very prominent individual in the food chain, sometimes compromises my ability to understand why she responds so...humanly.

"Bella, if you had a Ferrari Enzo and someone with a Volkswagen challenged you to a race, wouldn't the idea amuse you?" She shot me daggers with her expression.

"Let me guess, you're the Ferrari?" I was approaching the situation in this way to ease what is supposed to be a very serious topic. I _am _the Ferrari, to think that I'm not could become a lethal fatality.

I swerved a bit too recklessly into her drive way then.

"Listen to me Bella. If I say I can kill the boy, I mean it not to sound pompous or to scare you, I say it because the possibility is very real. A gun is always used sparingly because it kills. To deny that can be deadly."

I smelled the distinct aroma of salt emanating from her and was immediately repressed. I hated being the reason behind her tears almost as much as I hated her association with those godforsaken wolves. I was sure now that my cake would forever go uneaten if fate has a direct hand in my life.

"So why do you have to bother with them anyhow!? What real threat are they to you!?" she asked angrily.

"My staying here, my whole family for that matter, is dependent upon many things. They are one of them. Carlisle strongly _advised_ me to honor the treaty that was made so many years ago. And it's not because_ they_ are a threat to me, but because Carlisle himself would disown me. In truth this goes against his wishes, but if you could smell what I smell when I'm close to them, you'd be sure to keep them behind the border as well."

"So you're just going to-!"she began.

"Please Bella, this is a little bigger than you. But I'll promise you this…" Tears began to drip beyond the wall of her lids as I reached for her hand.

"Whatever happens, I won't kill him, any of them. I won't lay my hand on a single hair."

Her silence made me feel uneasy and lasted far too long for comfort.

"It'll rain soon, I'll be with you in the morning." She didn't even bother to reply with the slightest argument and left me.

Her refused silence (which I automatically interpreted as abandonment) and the fact that her hand was slack in the vice grip of my own told me two things: She wouldn't ever agree with my way of thinking and later…if there was bloodshed… I would pay for it very dearly.

But thoughts of her would weigh heavily on the way I handled the wolves, thus, expelling all notions of Bella I got out and prepared to run, leaving my car behind as an incentive to return. From that, Bella would know that I would return to her. And I _would_ return to her with a clean conscious.

The plan was set the very morning following the intrusion, but despite the impertinence in which we handled the situation, we felt the cause was worthy enough.

It was beyond simple. The very minute they caught wind of our scent, one of them, or perhaps all of them considering there would be three of us, would come to investigate.

And that is merely where we prove my point. That very action they would make and the fact that we _didn't _make the same last night would be enough restore my pride. And what's more, sight of us would renew the purpose of the border. We are a threat, as we all know, and we are very capable of crossing any lines in spite of any treaties, a feat we can very well prove today.

It had been a while since my brothers and I had seen the ocean up close, what with that treaty and all, so the decision to defy Carlisle and pay the werewolves a visit was unanimous. We did, however, accept the possibility of Carlisle finding out, he had those kinds of resources. So to better our chances we merely told Alice, Esme, and Rosalie that we were hunting early and wanted our own company. In theory, that decision alone should be enough to evade Alice because we considered what we were about to do very akin to hunting, thus as far as everyone else was concerned, that was the story.

They were, as we expected, suspicious, but by the same token, they didn't care enough to keep tabs. According to Rosalie "boys will be boys". I laugh at her ignorance.

It wasn't hard to tell how far away I was, the scent led me in all the right directions, even their exact locations. But I wouldn't venture that far yet, I had to touch bases with Jasper and Emmett.

They were waiting on a cliff that overlooked the ocean not far from where I was. Keeping to the trees, I exceeded the interstate and navigated throughout the forest to where I knew my brothers would be.

They were arguing, and from the looks of it, they were using innuendos do evade my mind. This would be interesting.

"Are we fighting…Jasper? Emmett?" I said pleasantly whilst casually strolling toward them. They were quick to change the subject.

"What took you, there's a strange smell to this place." Jasper complained, nostrils flared and eyebrows furrowed.

"Ah, the distinct perfume of wolf… " I toyed. "I had to take Bella home, but I'm here now." Emmett's attention seemed to be drawn to the ocean.

"Hey, any chance this could be wher-"he began as jasper swiftly punched his shoulder.

"What was that for?"

"I thought we talked about this…"

"It's just a question!"

"You may as well tell me, I'll find out anyway. Don't try and hide it from me." I promised.

There was never a mind -before Bella that is- that I've never been able to decipher. I've learned from close speculation that there are layers to every mind. The mind is able to think many things at once, some of which to hide others. And just as Emmett might use one thought to hide another, the thought in which it was meant to hide could be found in another layer of his subconscious mind; I could grasp it all if I needed to.

It was usually here, in the midst of the forest, my being a mere spec of living flesh on the amalgamated canvas of the natural world, was where it was easiest to lose myself in its serenity. I suppose the irony of it was my reason for being here in the first place, but here, it's always different. Here, it felt as if I had the homeland advantage, no longer weighted by the cautionary limits of foreign turf.

"So, what do you wanna do from here?" Emmett asked me, realizing that there was no urgency here. Regardless, I'd make this as entertaining for us

"Well, we could wait for them, or we could pay them a visit. Either way, they'll come to us eventually." I presumed with very little chance of being wrong.

"The latter seems more…fun." Said Jasper lazily.

I deducted that we were probably little more than thirty miles from La Push and it would take ten minutes or less to get to the Black house. So, throwing all caution to the wind, I hastily mapped a plan in my head and began to run, my brothers following not so far behind me.

Four minutes in and the poignancy and volume of their inner voices just seemed to get louder. They were all talking at once! Interrupting each other, combined voices of stunning alarm. From that it was easily identifiable, our presence had been officiallly discovered.

I cringed at the sound, pulling back to Jasper and Emmett's pace so to feel more secure.

"Are you alright Edward?" Jasper asked me, inflicting his power to make me feel more at ease.

"I am now." I thanked him. "They know we're here. Let's have some fun."

o.O.o

Exhaustion was too simple a word to describe Jacob's current state of being. Fatigue was still an understatement. After patrolling in the Goat Rocks all night long, Sam had a impulse spring from his seventh sense and the pack had followed faithfully all the way to Cullen territory to do what ended up merely as scoping the area.

The inevitable cost of indecision and invasiveness ended up being wasted time and the depletion of physical strength. Sam hid it well, but Jacob was unrelenting. Wolves are, by animalistic definition, supposed to have more endurance than a human, but Jacob found that he was always very tired when he transformed back.

When he was finally allowed to go home, his mind could only succumb to thoughts of his bed and Billy had thankfully made no qualms about his night out. With the sun forty-five minutes from rising, school was definitely not an option.

He hadn't had a dreamless night in a long while, and he was thankful for that. It would be the first night he didn't dream of Bella. The beginning of his recovery. If pushing himself every night to somehow keep her safe would drive his dreams away than her desertion would be a blessing in disguise.

_Jake…_

For a moment his consciousness felt he'd spoken too soon. His eyes shut tightly and his brow creased together as he tried to pursue his dreamless night.

_Jake, wake up!_

It was louder now and unmistakable.

_Sam…_his subconscious mind growled. All he wanted was a solid eight hours of sleep.

_Jake, we don't have time to sleep, wake up!_ Said a new voice….Quil?

_You were right Jake, they noticed. _And yet another voice…Jared maybe?

Well it was quite difficult to sleep when several voices carried on a conversation inside your head. They continued to speak as Jacob finally sat up and accepted reality.

_What's going on?_ Jake responded, trying to wrench the feeling of sleep from his body.

_Jake, they're in La Push…._

_Who?_

_THEM!_

_Them? _He was still too tired to comprehend.

The _slap _of a door hitting its frame was faint in Jacob's fogged consciousness. And then the sound appeared again, this time more immediate.

The jaws of life wouldn't wrench Jacob from the realms of sleep, but a blow to the face would.

"…the hell?" he muttered. His vision blurred and then focused to reveal an all too serious Quil. Something was making him very anxious.

"How can you just sleep through this!?" he asked incredulously.

"…shut up. you'll wake my dad...you didn't have to do that…" he seethed, his left cheek throbbed after sharply coming in contact with Quil's massive hand.

"Yes. I did.…but never mind. We have to go, right now." He said, watching Jacob stretch lackadaisically.

"Where're we going?" he asked, remaining the epitome of dead-beat. He wore numerous hints of exhaustion on his brow. He really had no desire to go running at all.

"You're going to love this…" Quil said, stepping into the hall to give Jacob space in his tiny room. "Love what?" Jacob yawned.

"Well...ever since this happened to me I've been questioning how a werewolf or a vampire could be considered human…but I figured _what _we are has nothing to do with _who_ we are…" He said uneasily as he began to pace back and forth.

The corners of Jacob's mouth turned down. It was unlike Quil to be so sentimental.

"That's not what you want to tell me is it? C'mon Quil…what happened, what's going on?" said Jacob warily.

"Well, remember what you told Sam when we went into vamp land last night?"

Of course, the way quil was acting had to somehow involve the cullens, Jake thought.

"Yeah, I said they wouldn't stay quiet. Why? What do you know Quil?" Jake demanded.

"Well…..you were right."

Jacob froze. There were so many ways he could have been right, but ultimately, he was afraid of how right he would be.

"What do you mean I was right?…Quil, _what are you saying?!" _he near shouted. Quil suddenly matched his anger.

"Damn it, I've been trying to tell you. THEY are HERE! The blood suckers are parading around the reservation!" he explained.

Surprise froze Jacob for mere seconds before a wave of maliciousness overtook him. A large part of him was not surprised to find that the vampires wanted to get even. Jacob warned his pack that they wouldn't stay quiet, but they were sure, that if that was the case, they'd have the fire power to handle the situation. But even so…he never conceded to the possibility of their actual presence, here, in La Push, the only place he'd ever call home. His anger tripled, he definitely wasn't having that.

"Jake?" Quil called out to him.

"How many Quil?" he asked.

"I-" he sighed. "I can't really tell…more than one, I'm sure."

_AND he brought his brothers along, _Jake thought to himself.

"Where's Sam?"

"I don't know, he just told me to go get you…maybe because he thinks they'll come here." Quil answered. Jacob growled in response.

_Hoquaim; he said he would help Dowling move some carburetors from the Auto shop to his place. He's trying to get away now. He says he can smell their scents from there…_ Jared informed them.

"_So where are you…" _Jacob internally spoke to Jared. If they were able to confer like this then he must have already transformed.

"_I thought I could cut them off at First beach, but if they were ever there...they're gone now."_

A vicious growl ripped through Jacob's chest as violent tremors shot across his body. He knew that the reason his pack infiltrated their land was just as, if not less, unwarranted than the vampires reason for running around La Push. But still, he was aware that nature would take its course and someone was going to get hurt….regardless of the ethics instated in the treaty. The elders would be incredibly pissed off.

He could feel it every time he transformed. The indescribable malice that coursed through every vein and artery within was so immensely powerful, it was almost tangible. Yes, he could control it…to a certain degree. He had the rationale to spare innocent creatures and human beings, but he would have little reason to hold back on a vampire. He _wanted_ to inflict as much damage as possible.

"And why the hell are you so composed?" he barked, looking at quil with a hateful expression. Quil was a nervous wreck.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm just as ticked as you are…but…the fact that they're here…does this mean everything I think it'll mean?"

For a slight second, Jacob's mind traveled down that dark avenue. He considered what life would be like if the Cullens decided they no longer wished to be vegetarian, or that they were above compromise with werewolves. If that were the case…the life of every human being in Forks would take a drastic turn for the worst.

He shook his head back and forth, his breath began to rasp.

"No. Not a chance, the treaty won't dissolve, I'll make sure of that."

**AN;// That's that! On to the next one shall we?**


	11. Cry Wolf: Hot Pursuit

**AN://I can't describe how much fun this chapter was to write, and it only gets better from here. I'm not even sure when this conflict will be resolved...two chapters? four? Remember, this story will still have chapters thrown in that have nothing do with another, you never know what'll happen in the next chapter.**

**Happy reading...**

**o.O.o**

My blood boiled with excitement and uncertainty; I hadn't planned this far ahead. I knew if I had succumbed to thinking it through, I would decide against this…and I was having too much fun just anticipating what might happen.

We ran steadily, but yet slowly for us, away from our place in the woods. My brothers had never been so closely affiliated with their scent; the look on their faces filled me with resolve. We were minutes outside of First Beach and gaining quickly on the reservation.

"Made a decision yet?" Jasper said to me.

"Got any ideas?" I asked. I wanted them to enjoy this as much as I was.

"Well," Emmett began. "That Jacob kid hates you right? So go to his house and hide, Jasper and I can confront the other three."

Jasper scoffed. "Shall we bake cookies when we're through?" Mocking Emmett.

"If you don't like it, say so dammit." Emmett seethed.

" It's far too jevenile. Hide and go seek is for humans."

"I agree, but they're all in different places and they're planning how to get together now." I said.

"So?" Emmett said impatiently. I thought to myself for several seconds on how to rally us altogether.

"So instead of us coming to them, we send them on a wild goose chase. Jasper, you'll go East. Emmett, to the West, I'll back track up the middle. They'll have no choice but to split up and follow us. Then we'll all meet on the edge of Third Beach, 5 miles east of the trails. That should keep us hidden."

Emmett was still sore.

"Oh? Follw the leader is less _juvenile _than hide and go seek?" Jasper ignored him in alliance to my plan but I defended myself. Like me, his own ideas for revenge were a bit more sinister than hide and go seek.

"It's what happends when we meet that won't be so juvenile." I declared, and it was enough to pacify him. Silence follwed me; we were wasting too much time.

"Anyway", I intervened. "It's not often we get out like this, why be candid about it?"

"Then how long should we run?" asked Jasper.

I smirked.

"Well, I wouldn't rush through the experience. Go sight seeing if you will…get close enough so they can smell you and then break toward the beach."

"You're cruel Edward." Jasper laughed. "How far left till I run into them?"

"Their leader of some sorts is coming from an auto retailer just five miles from here, the other tried to follow us to First Beach, he should be on the edge of River Drive by now."

"…and I won't let him get off" Emmett growled.

We continued on for just a few yards before Emmett let out a low rumble of laughter and tore away to might right, not long after, Jasper broke off to my left, and I was alone. I ran straight up the main road that would lead me into the heart of the reservation, where I knew the Black house would be. I decided to humor Emmett and go there first. The closer I got, the voices in my head became clearer. As I listened to them discuss the odds, in a very southern corner of my mind I hoped that this didn't blow up in my face. It would only complicate things if the werewolves decided to be irrational about this. But how could I account for them?

My enhanced sight allowed me to see the quaint, yet shoddy little house without stepping within a mile of it. As it was, the scent was terrible; I didn't want to get close to them until I had to. I smirked in spite of the circumstances; I'd have two of them all to myself.

It took them a few agonizingly long seconds to realize how close I was to them. The smile on my lips was a product of my excitement. I stood my ground even as they tore off after me, I could hear the storming of their steps form where I was.

"You can't catch me Jacob Black…in more ways than one."

o.O.o

The usually vivacious Quil was one giant ruptured nerve as he considered the odds…

"Why are we just sitting here!?" Jacob said impatiently.

"We're supposed to be waiting for Sam's order…" Quil replied in utter exasperation.

"Oh right…" he considered briefly. "…We could take them on our own!" Jacob fumed.

"And how sure are you about that!?" Quil retorted, he's supposed to be the hot head, not Jacob. Even he knew that now was not the time for impulsiveness.

"How much harder can they be to handle than that last bloodsucker, Laurent, was it?"

_The odds were in our favor…_Jared spoke.

"This time's no different! We out number them, why is Sam taking so long to act?"

_Relax, it's barely been ten minutes…_ Ten minutes was an eternity to Jacob.

_Anyway…_Jared continued …_Laurent wasn't near as crafty as the Cullens, and he was alone to face the five of us. Again, the odds were in our favor._

Jacob scoffed. "The odds…we have what it takes to beat them if we have to, and all we're doing is 'considering the odds'. All _I _wanna do is wipe that damn smirk off his face."

"Dammit Jake, leave your personal life outta this! There's more at stake than your failed relationship with Bella."

Jacob's eyes were crossed with Malice.

"You take that back Quil…" he whispered.

"No, admit it! Forget about the reservation, our _home!_ You're so high strung cause you wanna get even with Cullen don't you!?"

_Calm down Quil, you have no right to question Jake's motives, we're all fighting for the same cause here…_

"Really? I think Jake needs a reality check." Quil said bitingly to Jacob.

Jacob was about to rile off with a few choice words of his own when Sam quieted him.

"_I agree…for now, it is the sake of our treaty and the reservation that we have to consider before we act. That is something we should have considered before we patrolled on Cullen territory. Jake, craftiness is not what sets us apart. We're human beings before animals. Edward Cullen was present when the treaty was settled almost 70 years ago. That gives him an advantage._

"Fine." Jacob seethed between a clenched jaw. "So we're just going to sit here then?"

_No. It's clear that they're goading us…one of their brethren was heading straight for me, but as I ran to meet him, he pulled off in a new direction. _

"Follow the leader?" Jacob inquired, somewhat confused. Somehow that didn't seem like a vicious bloodsucking vampire to him.

_So it would seem…_Sam agreed.

_He's right…there's another on my heels and he turned west not even 5 seconds ago._

"But we're not just gonna follow them are we?" Quil asked, his voice guarded, as if the entire ordeal was impossible.

_What choice do we have?... _Sam answered. …_Our number one priority should be to avoid casualties._

"What if it's a trap?" Quil considered.

_Well…_Sam began. …_Unless you truly believe the Cullens could know your lands better than you do, then it very well could be a trap. As I said, we have no room for mistakes. Therefore, we don't have a choice._

"Going head first into a trap may be a mistake!" Jake contested.

_Maybe, but will it be the kind that'll end in death? Carlisle Cullen made the treaty with your great grandfather remember? He won't go back on that…so his so called "sons" won't want any casualties either._

"In theory…" Jacob added. Sam may have more information than the rest of them, but he can't see the future, there was no way he could insure what the vampires actually planned to do on the reservation.

_A theory is all any of us have…even the vampires. Anyway, this doesn't deserve further discussion. I'll get back to you with my order._

"Wait!" Jacob hesitated. The scent of vampire hung in the air that wafted inside Jacob's small window, but now it more distinct. It was a scent he knew more than his brothers did and it was clear…Edward Cullen was especially reserved for him.

"He's…here…" Jacob uttered, concentrating on Edward's every move.

_Good, no doubt he has the same plan. So follow. _

Both Jacob and Quil became focused and raced outside, glad to finally be doing something other than arguing and standing still.

The chase was on.

o.O.o

After an entire century, I'd thought I'd seen it all, experienced nearly everything. But this…this was certainly original. A vampire/werewolf standoff? I idly questioned Carlisle for not letting me get involved 70 years ago.

Emmett and Jasper had done precisely what was asked of them. They were already there with the rest of the wolves when I arrived with the last two. The look of calm malice on their faces as they reverted to their human forms didn't faze me; I was near shaking with laughter. I briefly tapped into their minds…they were far too confident. I subdued myself from mentioning that the only reason my brothers restrained themselves was out of mercy.

I broke the silence first. "If your elders could see this…" I said, shaking my head with the impossibility of it all.

"Lets cut to the chase Cullen-" Sam was the calmest of all of them.

"You want to know why we're here?" I asked. His jaw locked with surprise as the rumor behind my mind reading was revealed true. I couldn't help but laugh.

"That was a safe deduction even without my mind-reading don't you think?"

"Then I suppose you also want to know why we were on your land then?" Sam spoke again.

"Oh you _are _shrewd aren't you?" Jasper and Emmett stifled their laughter.

"Well then…" I began. "While I don't believe that two wrongs make a right, I also don't believe that ignorance exempts you from responsibility."

"We have a responsibility to the people of this state, I'm not sorry that that drove us onto your land."

We buckled with laughter again and Jacob Black growled pitifully.

"I don't think they get it, Edward…" Emmett proclaimed. I shook my head.

"No, they truly do not understand…I can hear it in their minds." I mocked, my voice laden in pity.

"Fools…it's that one piece of paper that stops us all from crossing the space between us. And you and I both know that waging war in light of the fact that we both broke the treaty is not worth the collateral damage. Know this: you are no threat to us. Fear is not what keeps us off the reservation."

"You can cut the act Edward!" Jacob stumbled to the forefront, warranting some concern from his peers.

"Me?" I was incredulous with disbelief.

"Yes, you, you're making this about something that hasn't anything to do with what's actually going on. You pretend to give a damn about the treaty but all you care about is her, leave Bella out of this. I know that this is the only thing giving you an excuse to confront us."

I was silent in embarrassment. I was embarrassed for Jacob Black, embarrased for committing to his own humiliation. Because he was wrong! As far as I was concerned, the treaty was a piece of paper consecrating a futile attempt at overcoming our nature. Vampires and werewolves will never coincide peacefully. Why flirt with disaster?

And Bella? Bloodshed would her make her angry (it's a pity that they're friends). I was as sure of that as I was sure that she wouldn't stay mad with me forever. I had my bases covered.

"Who are you trying to convince? This has absolutely nothing to do with her. I certainly was not the one who condoned her risking her life by having her ride a poor excuse of a vehicle that you built yourself, and then used the ordeal to get her grounded…all for a misunderstanding. You honestly believe that Bella's incarceration could stop me from seeing her? I haven't the slightest idea why she feels so indebted to you after all this cloak and dagger."

The others shot him a look of exasperation that brought his foolishness to bare.

"While we're on first name terms here, you _should_ have listened to them Jacob, they told you not to go." I mimicked them, reading the rest of the wolves' minds as their thoughts betrayed a member of their own kind. Their eyes shot back at me with a look of contempt.

"Please…" he scoffed. "_You're_ a bigger threat to her than a stupid motorcycle."

I calmly dismissed how he seemed to allow putting her in danger.

I smirked. "That goes for you too."

Jacob growled in fury, his body undergoing violent tremors. His mind was drawing a very colorful picture of his attack and I knew he wouldn't be able to control himself for long. Emmett and Jasper were crouched in defense. I held my arms out in front of them.

"Stop him." I commanded viciously. But none of them intended to restrain him, they firmly believed that the boy could handle himself.

"Afraid? Bloodsucker?" the one named Quil spoke in spite of his own fears. I almost chocked at his audacity.

"Keep dreaming _dog_" A fierce roar ripped from Jacob's human frame and distracted me.

"I swore that I would not attack you. If you let him transform, I'll have to break that promise." I warned. This news, for some reason, made them even more confident. As if we would stand there and allow the boy to attack us just because of the promise _I'd_ made to Bella.

The last seal to Jacob's humanity seemed to be finally breaking.

"However," I began, dropping my arms slowly. "My brothers are under no such oath." Jasper and Emmett mounted forward, their lips stretching over their teeth, prepared to attack.

Their leader snarled in irresolution as he realized the risk at stake. With the slightest gesticulation of his hand, the wolf named Jared bounded forward to restrain Jacob Black, locking his forearms around Jacob's in a bear hold and wrestling his disinclined body away from the rest of us.

Jasper and Emmett unwillingly stood erect, quieting their own uproars.

It was quiet for few very long seconds...our minds were, quintessentially, contemplating the very same thin;. How would this end up if not in a fight?

"And so we've come full circle…" Sam proclaimed…but the statement didn't match his eyes.

He was hiding something.

"Whether or not this confrontation was necessary…well, neither of us can judge. But we bear the same warning; If you value the treaty then abide by it, leave us the hell alone, and we'll gladly spare your sad reservation." I promised.

But _something_ was _wrong_, their leader was far too calm and nothing from his mind could tell me the reason behind it.

"I hear you vampire and it seems we're at an impasse. Change is merely a simple matter of adjustment" he said, his tone far too forgiving. My anger flared at the frsutration of it all.

I covered the small clearing in two strides, seizing him by the collar. Then everything seemed to happen in one minor instant. The remaining boy to his left transformed attempting to protect my prey. As soon as the air was off setting, Emmett, the most impetuous of us, surged forward, tackling the transformed Quil.

"What kind of fool do you take me for?" I kept my voice monotone but grave, ignoring the evident chaos around me.

"The satirical kind." He spoke smoothly and unnecessarily, thus fueling my anger. My teeth were bared now but for some reason I was reserved from doing anything further (I repeated my promise in my mind; _don't kill them, don't kill them...)_. All this resignation was unquestionably infuriating! The nails of my fingers were perforating his skin, when they much more capable of blood.

"What about 'I can hear every single insignificant thought that runs through your head' don't you understand?! You can't deceive me!".

"And yet you hold back….tell me_ leech_, how many voices can you contain at once?" he remained unruffled and serene in the face of a vicious vampire, what was he trying to guise?

"I'd always wondered if your power limited by quantity…or do you just tune us all out in boredom?" he managed to choke this out around the solid grip of my fingers.

Was he calling me foolish? But why? What would he have to gain even if my mind reading was limited by the number of people I'd have to hear? How would that help him?

With the smoothest extension of my arm, I'd lodged him against the tree, breaking my grip, and allowing his body to cleanly sever the limb as I started to realize his plan.

_How could I have been so blind?_

**AN://I love hearing what you think, not matter how long or short, or how trivial, so review! pretty please?**


	12. The Insufficiency of Phys Ed

**AN: Tell your friends, Error Dexis has Updated! I dug through the hidden confines of my recently cured (but not completely) computer and recovered old files! CELEBRATE WITH ME! I had this written for a long while and had so much fun writing it that it physically hurt me to see it disappear with stupid computer failure. It feels good to be posting again. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did. It, again, has NOTHING to do with the other chapters, so don't think you've missed anything. Thanks in advance for reading!**

It amazes me how I'd been able to qualify anything between Bella and I as normal now. The fact that we were with each other at all was a rarity that the world might never see in all of another century, but the children of Forks High were quite used to it now. And yet I'm walking her to Gym, as I've done for months. The mere difference lie only in my parting with her.

She looked up at me expectantly. I sighed, prolonging her yearning.

"If only a kiss could save you from physical education…"I said sardonically. She scoffed.

"Then I'd be milking it for all it's worth." She finished, as if, somehow, a kiss was supposed to atone for whatever physical torture she would be put through today.

I circled my arms around her waist and bent to kiss her.

"For a change, you could probably find something more constructive to do than watch me fall on my face." She warned before I could break my hold.

"Tell that to the other twenty children that share Gym with you." What was an audience of one compared to twenty?

"Seriously, you're proven that you can't behave yourself." I smirked and used my weight to draw her against the nearest wall.

"Oh I think I've been on my very best behavior." She rolled her eyes, fighting the smile that drove away her previous seriousness.

"You know what I mean, I-" she began, but my lips intervened. She couldn't fight me, she wouldn't. My hands fisted in her hair, holding her to me.

"How about we end our goodbyes on a high note?" I said, I was in an unusually good mood, buoyant even and I wasn't going to let her ruin it.

"C'mon Edward, I know you'll watch me. If I fall, let me. If a stray ball is rearing to my impending doom, let it, …at least I'd learn to be more alert. Stop saving me." I glowered, not angry, but annoyed at hearing this. For her, badminton and cliff diving was no different: she'd still find a way to accidentally kill herself.

"You think I get some personal enjoyment in watching you hurt yourself day after day?" I countered. Bella's transformation, hands down, was a subject I refused to think about. But there it was, worming its way into my thoughts once again. If she were a vampire, she'd have better balance.

"I do, actually…"she considered. "Go to class, test yourself against new age education, sleep, I don't care, anything but watch me in gym today."

And then it hit me, she's never tried so hard to convince me to be away from her, there had to be something special going on in gym today.

"Please?" she inquired, after my silence proved unrelenting. I took an exaggerated breath.

"I think I'll play devil's advocate on this one, love." And 'disappeared' down the hall of no witnesses before she could stop me. To my amusement, I heard her call after me.

I went to my own sixth period teacher then to get out of class. I could skip without remorse, but it was much easier in the long run to take the time out to get permission. Some people didn't allow the Cullens to get away with anything if they could help it. Ignoring the rules created these trivial problems for me. Banner tried to give me detention once, for failing to return from the restroom…though I care almost nothing for my records, criminal or educational, I had to talk myself out of it before he dared calling Carlisle and Esme. They would make me serve just for the fun of it.

I slowed down and entered class, ignoring the sudden gush of voices that had surrounded my sudden presence after the bell. I tried to appear eager and over-excited, she couldn't refuse me.

"Ms. Goff, If I could somehow make up today's work to participate in Coach Clapp's class today? I don't have gym this year." She gave me a sidelong glance, I ignored whatever she was thinking as she deliberated.

"Are you comfortable with missing the lecture?"

"It's nothing some studying won't cover." Her eyebrows dipped, and a mere glimmer into her mind told me that she'd taken this as an insult.

"My mother makes sure I'm up to speed." I said.

_Parental involvement, of course. _She thought, thinking that this was the reason behind my perfect grades. Well she could think whatever would get her to say yes. She could even say no; I'd find a way to get out of her class anyhow.

"I suppose, get your homework from someone." She ordered.

"Absolutely. Thank you ma'am." I glanced at the wall where it was usually written, committing it to memory.

I could have spared more time to get Emmett out of class while I was at it, but decided against at the last moment. Alice and Rosalie didn't approve of making Bella in Gym a spectator sport. Jasper wouldn't admittedly cross Alice, but _I _knew better. Emmett, though, was always game.

I felt it was better this way, if she _did _get hurt in anyway, I would be right there to avenge her. The rest of them would never know the difference.

The girls were still changing into Gym attire –naturally- while the boys were already on the court, seeming to anticipate what was going on today, prepping themselves and challenging their peers. After another five minutes or so, the first of the girls walked out. And there was Bella, trailing behind as usual, in clothes that didn't suit her. Needless to say, she wasn't athletic at all.

Imagine her horror at seeing me sitting in the very first row of the bleachers, unfazed by her requests not even ten minutes ago. She stormed on the court angrily, with something to prove…but what?

I tried to get the gist of what was going on today, but there was no equipment out yet. Reading minds didn't help either. No one else knew I supposed. I'd have to take a short cut and sift out Clapp's voice form the other hundred voices in my head.

_I love this game, too bad they outlawed it up in DC…nothing like a good game of dodge ball to make a man alert…_

Dodge ball…I whispered. And to my immediate horror, just as he promised, Clapp rolled out a rack of eighteen red balls, specifically designed for hurling at someone. Not so designed for Bella's physical capabilities.

I stood up reflexively, delegating how I could help the situation.

I caught Bella's glance then, and while her posture was angry, her face was mocking me.

…_if a stray ball is rearing to my impending doom, let it…at least I'd learn to be more alert…_

"Over my dead body…" I muttered, staring angrily and delegating just which human was pathetic enough to cross me.

Uncharacteristically, Bella was standing in the midst of what soon to be the heart of all the action. She's doing this to spite me of course. Someone so physically challenged would never set themselves up like this for no reason. I _could_ sit there I suppose…let her get some beneficial lessons in defense…

I sat down sharply, folding my arms tightly across my chest and watched as Clapp threw each team an even set of balls, aiming at no particular person. But it was better to be armed at the start of the game. The other children knew this, and ran to retrieve them.

Bella wasn't so quick on the strategy…she was unarmed and making herself a target! She glanced at me as if she'd done it on purpose.

"Ok …" Clapp shouted over the noise of all the bouncing, some of the boys were entirely over eager.

"Let's have a good clean fight ladies, if I have to send any of you to the nurse, the principle will have my paycheck…"

_Fantastic, so you make Bella play…._I thought angrily.

"Understood?" Everyone answered unanimously, though some of the girls were acting like sheep, still unsure.

"Good, let's play some dodge ball!" and he ran off the court to survey the action.

No sooner did Clapp remove himself from the line of fire, did the first ball come rearing over to the other side of the court. It was Mike aiming at Eric. Eric was too stunned to bother catching the ball and dove out of the way instead.

"Hmph…" I sneered. If I were playing, he would never _see _the ball coming.

Jessica laughed and grew bold, taking her ball and throwing it underhanded at mike. It went so slowly and barely to the other side that mike ran forward to catch it and lobbed it at Eric again. She was angry with embarrassment as her efforts went ignored. Clapp dubbed her officially disqualified, and she stalked over to the bleachers. I laughed silently, this wouldn't go well in their relationship.

Little Ben Cheney decided not to interrupt their grudge match, if Mike, on his side, could take out most of the others, then he'd be on the winning team for a change. So he took his own ball and aimed sharply for Connor on Bella's side on the court.

The game was raring on around Bella for several minutes. She_ tried _to keep track of every red object that networked the small gym, but of course her poor human eyes and shocking lack of awareness couldn't contain it all. Several people were already knocked out just like Jessica and the numbers were dwindling dangerously. Her confidence died when she was faced with the actual task of dodging balls intent on hitting her. They didn't even need all eighteen balls anymore. Half of them rolled about the gym, forgotten. If she didn't get out now, she would become the focus of someone's will to win.

She skipped behind Eric to evade several balls that were veering off course, only narrowly missing one, and serving to make me nervous.

I was only faintly aware of Lauren using Mike as a shield and scooping up a ball that Mike had successfully dodged. I stood then, I knew where this one would go.

Lauren was harboring the idea of getting squared with Bella since the start of them game, but was very aware that I was present. Every time she thought about it, she'd changed her mind, so I focused on someone else.

But now, there were only five people left on Bella's side of the court. Four of them were male. Lauren felt her team was playing favorites, but I knew otherwise. The fact that Bella wasn't out yet had a lot to do with Mike on the other team. Regardless, someone would have to disqualify her sooner or later.

Lauren reared her arm back them, still debating if she'd really hit her. I didn't take my chances. I snatched one of the balls that had been rolling aimlessly by my feet and threw it sharply at Lauren, with only the barest movement of my arm. All the losers on the other side of the Gym were too busy conversing to notice me.

My aim was perfect. The red projectile hit her square in the shoulder, jerking her to the floor. She, like the others, didn't see it coming. She sat on the floor, dazed, holding her head in one hand. It might even leave a bruise I sorely admitted… I watched as Coach Clapp came on the court to claim her. To my amusement, she argued with him.

I sat back down and smiled in satisfaction.

I looked then to see what measures Bella was taking to ensure her victory, but she was glaring at me. Apparently she was observant enough to see if anyone on her team had hit Lauren, which of course, none of them did. I almost winced as Mike pinned Eric. He put up a fight, but in the end, one of the girls on his team got in his way.

I sat down nonchalantly as if I'd had nothing to do with any of it. A simple game of dodge ball or no, Bella would still hurt herself. Intervention is a must.

The game continued to press on, slowly now, as there were less people on either team and more space between themselves to dodge oncoming balls. But, as the opposing forces noticed, less team members meant more available ammo. Suddenly both teams scurried frantically to claim more red balls than the other side and were rearing them unthinkingly to the other end of the gym, obviously hoping an inattentive player would get hit. I laughed quietly as Bella covered her head with her arms and ducked to somehow evade the sudden rain of killer objects.

"Bella, you have to _move"_ a teammate advised her. I laughed harder.

To my amazement, the pathetic human tactic was effective. The teams winded down entirely.

Somehow, Tyler, on Bella's team had remained lithe and agile in his attempt to survive and was successful in that. But now was his hour of judgment. Mike and Ben were the last men standing on their team. Mike was too proud of his streak and began to play more vigorously.

And then there was Bella of course, hiding politely out of range. Poor Tyler…it was more or less two against one. Bella had nothing to offer in the way of defense. I could hear the minds of those few stubborn players that were disqualified. They were incredulous to find that Bella was still surviving. Her reputation must precede her.

Mike, however, had a plan now.

He expected Tyler would go for the obvious kill and take Ben Cheney out first. He waited for this. Tyler was unsuspecting as Ben continued to aim for him. Ben missed his next shot and Tyler sidestepped for more ammunition, meanwhile Mike was at the ready. As soon as Tyler launched his next shot, Mike returned with one of his own and the enemy balls came within a daring inch of each other. Tyler didn't expect another ball to so suddenly replace the one he threw and couldn't dodge quickly enough. It brushed his torso before ricocheting off the wall behind him. He threw his arms up angrily, humiliated by such an obvious defeat.

Mike and Ben rejoiced as if they'd won, completely ignoring Bella's position on her team. Clapp hadn't noticed her cowering along the wall either and blew his whistle for the winning team.

"Not fair!" Lauren suddenly exclaimed. "Bella hasn't lost yet!" Had to be her, I thought, annoyed by this Lauren.

Clapp blinked and looked around only vaguely aware of Bella's presence. Bella continued to stand there, terrified at being exposed.

"Well…who knew? Not really a win with her still there." Clapp told Mike's team sorely. They were still triumphant.

If Bella was terrified then, now she was downright horror-struck.

"No! That's okay! I will gladly forfeit!" she yelled madly in her defense, afraid of becoming the one easy target for Mike and Ben.

"Then it's settled. Mike. Ben. Good game." He congratulated them and they high-fived each other. Bella sighed in obvious relief and stalked to the locker rooms without looking at me.

I could hardly contain my laughter as I watched her leave.

I left the gym then to wait for her outside, all the while thinking of her performance. Did she have nothing physical to do in Phoenix? I'm sure a city of that size would have offered some kind of practice. I still find it hard to believe she was able to stay intact up until this point.

Suddenly I became inexplicably angry with myself. Bella's physical capabilities shouldn't be a problem. Bella should never find herself wishing for more dexterity. Someone normal…some sane person who _wasn't in love with a vampire _would never need to run for their lives quite as often as Bella seems to. Why can't I ever keep my demons from harming her?

She stalked out then, irritated with me, as I assumed she would be. But I wasn't quite wearing the expression I'd decided on earlier. She saw the resent in my eyes and was suddenly trying to comfort me.

"Edward? Are you alright?" she asked, placing her palm gingerly on my cheek, as I'd just been wounded. I smiled at her sincerely. Slightly surprised and yet moved by her change in mannerism.

"I'm fine, hardly deserving of your concern, Bella." I said, trying to sound amusing. But she saw through me I suppose.

She wrapped her warm arms around me and laid her head on my chest.

"Hm. True. But I'm finding it hard to believe that guilt is what's bothering you..." I felt her smile against my shirt, her fingers spreading across my back. I kissed the top of head.

"Guilt? Yes. But not for watching you in gym today. If only Emmett could have seen your performance. That was truly something to envy." I laughed. My somber mood already lifting.

She pulled back quickly and glared at me through narrow lids.

"Oh yes. You'll live for ten more centuries before I even think about _thinking _about forgiving you." She hissed.

"Oh Bella, but no one other than you could have absolutely no physical finesse to speak of and still become champion of their team." I teased, my tone twisting with an apology. Her arms locked along her side, the posture of all seriousness.

"I warned you! And what was that with Lauren!? As if she doesn't already hate me enough for the both of us!" she demanded.

"I will not apologize for that. Though I wish you would build some stamina I had no intention of letting you get hit. Which reminds me…you knew about this, didn't you? You forced me away knowing you'd be playing something even more dangerous to you?" I accused, serious in my questions. To me, a bright red ball and bullet held the same connotations. If it was intent on Bella's demise I'd protect her from both. Without thought.

"Not without knowing how much you'd _enjoy it._-"

"As long as you were not hurt-"

"Which I'm not-"

"Then your point is pretty moot." I finished.

She pouted, took a deep breath, and did something I didn't expect. The most disparaging look touched her face before she stormed off down the hall toward the parking lot.

"Bella." I called, effortlessly keeping pace.

"Ten centuries, Edward. I swear." She seethed, making it to my car , and waiting for me to open her door.

"Don't be upset, love." I pleaded with my eyes, touching the handle, preparing to open it as soon as her face softened.

"You make that hard." She choked. Why, oh why, was she crying? I pulled her into my arms immediately.

"Bella…you know I hardly meant any harm in watching you today-" I said cradling her head in my hands.

"I know" she sniffed.

"Then?" I asked, wondering of the real source behind her tears. She looked up at me then, her eyes filled with pity.

"I know I'm especially human, more so than the entire human race. You don't have to point fingers." Her honesty hurt me as much she was hurting now.

"Don't be ashamed. Bella, I happen to love every part of you, even the especially human ones."

"I'm a joke…"she mumbled. I lifted her eyes to mine.

"You are absolutely charming, believe that." She searched my eyes then, and whatever she found made her sigh and pull away, letting herself in the car. I walked around and slid in easily, turned on the engine, and hit the main road without words.

"If you like, I can get you out of gym for the rest of the year. You won't have to contend with that anymore." I offered literally.

"I'd like to see you try…" she murmured. I smirked.

"Is that a challenge?" I took her silence as a yes.

"I really did enjoy watching you play Bella, I was rooting for you." I said, leaning over to kiss her cheek, my eyes leaving the road for a time.

"Hmph." She responded. I kissed her cheek again.

"Look on the bright side; Lauren couldn't hurt you and Clapp gets to keep his paycheck." I laughed. A third time now. Much to my amusement she turned her face from me.

I parked my Volvo in her drive and hurried to let her out. She worked intentionally to storm ahead of me.

"You can't refuse me for long." I chided, mocking her again. She opened the front door and turned around to face me.

"Just you watch. When I'm a vampire I'll have you on your knees Cullen." She threatened. It became a true effort to stifle my laughter then.

I seized her waist, and rushed her to her bedroom, subtlety closing the door behind me.

"I wouldn't put it past you…I truly am frightened." I spoke lowly in her ear, my voice dropping an octave.

And just like this afternoon, she couldn't fight me, she wouldn't. She had neither the will nor the way to break my lips from hers.

**AN: I plan on updating in decent intervals now that some of my files have been recovered (albeit not all). I am working on, or rahter slaving over the end to Cry Wolf. I can't remember most of what I wrote. Picture yourself having just written the next great american novel. Then your computer undergoes the black screen of death and starts throwing up on itself. There goes your novel...now what do you do?...I don't know about you but I cried like a baby. Anyways. I NEED to heard from you, reviews would be like medicine right now. So please...click that button? **


	13. Charlie

**AN/ Alright, put the pitch forks down. I know I'll never be able to apologize enough for almost three months of writer's block. And know you're probably thinking "but you said you had chapters already written and blah blah blah." Well a friend advised with constructive criticism that I post chapters POST Eclipse, and I had nothing like that written. This friend said that to have chapters conflict with the current story line would just initially confuse readers and take away from the overall success (I wouldn't call it that though) of my story. SO I DID! But not without some amazing difficulty. Every other day I'd sit down to write and crank out sentences at a time, eventually stealing from chapters I WANTED to post to help with lack of ideas. And thus this chapter was born! **

**About this chapter: I always wondered if Edward actually paid Charlie any attention or if he felt some kind of guilt towards Bella's parents for taking their girl away from them. (For any real parent, that would be an extremely difficult thing to knowingly go through, I can't imagine what Charlie and Renee will go through once she _does _disappear.) I also wondered why Charlie was so _enabling. _If _I _mysteriously fled for Italy for three days and not told my dad? Well...I would be in a vegetative state by now. (He'd only leave me barely alive after he's through).**

**So I took a stab at analyzing all these thoughts and answering the questions for myself. To apologize, this chapter's extra long! Please Enjoy!**

**.o.**

**o.O.o**

**o.O.o.O.o**

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Though I'm risking more contempt by doing this, I'm completely defenseless against her ways persuasion.

"Bella…it is now…" I checked my watch. "9:02… Charlie has me timed to the very last second, you know this…and what with my car in the driveway…" I urged. I've tried very hard the past few months to better the quality of the relationship between Charlie and I, but Bella was making this harder than it had to be.

"Yes, but Charlie's not here, is he?" she leered. The glare and the intent behind it was clearly evident in my eyes. There was a seriousness there that she was childishly ignoring. I tried to inch slowly from under her, as she was positioned sprawled on top of me, but she noticed my attempts and fought me.

"Bella…does Charlie mean nothing to you?" I sighed. Her head shot up in incredulity.

"What kind of question is that?" she protested, I rolled my eyes.

"I mean…in regards to me. How can you allow me, no, _force _me to break his rules knowing fully well how he feels about me?" Our eyes smoldered in a heated non verbal battle for very long seconds until she seemed to resign. She rose into a sitting position next to me.

"Charlie will wear down with time…besides, it's not you he hates, its more what you make of me…or rather what I'm like without you, which is all the more reason for you to stay." She said playfully, but from her careful admittance I knew she was making herself vulnerable. She's misunderstanding me; I so very much wanted to stay, but I had to play my cards delicately. If I could co-exist peacefully with Charlie then he and Bella will be better off.

"He wouldn't give me a time limit if he thought the best thing for you was to be with me…" I informed her, moving to a more formal position on the edge of her bed.

"How long will Charlie matter?" she muttered. I cocked my head to the side, wondering just how to interpret such a question.

"As long as you're human." I said, covering my bases. She knew my answer was only to evade further discussion, so she looked away and said nothing. The look on her face was reproachful, and I was a bit disappointed in her. How could she let her erroneous human hormones mislead her now? Now especially? Has she forgotten why we needed to be so tolerant? I held her firmly by her shoulders.

"Bella…" I said firmly, waiting for eye contact, she looked unwillingly, but as she did I gained a small amount of clarity that I didn't have before. I could see the truth there, the conflict, I could see the weight of her options and the pain of her decision…and still, just as I feared, just as I fought and rebelled against, I could find no regret. To choose my life over her own…I could never oblige such a choice.

"Bella…you should always be conscious of the circumstances. If you're going to abandon this life leave no stone unturned in poor grace. Only you could force my hand this way and only you alone could be any kind of consolation for what I am going to do. Otherwise, I couldn't live with myself. Look at what I'm taking from Charlie, Renee! And selfishly at that! Yes, you're eighteen and more than able to survive without him, but please, for me, so _I_ will be at peace- let him be your father while he still can."

She was silent still, her eyes boring into mine. Either she had no response or feared her response would anger me somehow. I knew it was the latter; I know how she's come to justify her decision, but how could I ever believe for a second that I am worth such a sacrifice? I never will.

The only thing I _do _understand, and the only amount of leverage I have is empathy itself. I may not consider myself a respectable trade-off for her _life_ of all things but I am all too aware of the _cause. _For some unfathomable reason Bella's chosen me and will give her life to me, out of love. And I knew, to my core, with no reservations, that given the chance I would do the same. Give my life to her to be with her, out of love over all.

After more minutes of silence I pulled her into my arms, sighing as the warmth of her skin surrounded me. In all essence, it was hardly fair that she hear this from me. I would go to any length, any measure, choose her over my _own _father, without rationale, without a second thought. But even in my poor approximation of what was good for her, I knew she would want this in the end. She will wish that she and Charlie had faired better. And Bella seemed so oblivious to the inequality between Charlie and I, the rut that I would never expect him to forgive. I could spare him and tolerate his offhanded attempts to evade me with nothing less than civility because very soon I would have her forever.

How could I complain?

A shrill sound that Bella was unaware of broke the silence around me.

"Bella…"I said, stroking her hair. "The phone's ringing."

Her arms tightened around me in blatant retaliation and we were back to square one again. Anyone within her human world could be calling to relay a trivial, or worse yet, a tragic message. Who was I to infringe on her sense of normalcy? Bella should be making the most of this human life for as long as it will last.

"Bella…" I said roughly, disentangling myself. Once I was free, I grabbed her arm and dragged her with me downstairs, using the little force necessary on my part to do so. She groaned the entire way. I picked up the phone before it stopped ringing and held it out to her.

"Edward you know as well as I do, that there's nothing in my life that would make me run to the phone." She hissed as I covered the mouth piece.

"You never know love." I teased. She took the phone gingerly and winced as she put it to her ear, almost as if it burned her skin. I smiled. Sometimes I would blasphemously think that characteristically, she was prepared to transition into my life, to leave the world she never seems to enjoy in the first place.

It was easy for me to over hear her conversation; she was talking to Charlie.

"Dad?...yes I'm fine, how was-…what?!...how-!…are you-!…ok, I'll be right there." She hung up, her face distressed. She put her hand to her forehead, closing her eyes tightly, as if she were fighting a headache.

"Edward, Charlie's-" she began.

"I know. Come on." I said, car keys already in my hands. Charlie must have been coming from La Push, taking one of many roads into forks that weren't illuminated at night to have gotten into an accident, which surprised me as there is nothing like a police cruiser to brighten the road. By voice alone, he seemed perfectly fine to me, but it was Bella's nature to worry over everything.

She ran to the car, and I was already there at the door of my Volvo, brandishing it open for her. She got in quickly. I was beside her half a second later, peeling out of the driveway smoothly but hastily. As I gently bared down on the pedal, inclining the speed well past ninety; she buckled her seat belt and made no qualms about the speed.

Charlie was stranded alongside the road's edge, his cruiser resting in the middle of the lane. It was dark enough outside that Bella could hardly see Charlie as we reached him; I had to point him out for her as we neared him.

"Stop the car." She commanded breathlessly as soon as I pulled up far enough, her heart racing a mile a minute. I skidded neatly to a halt and dipped out of the car.

"Charlie!" she yelled, forgetting the usual pretense her mother decided was more appropriate for a parent and a child. As she ran to him, I tested the air for blood and thankfully there wasn't any, in fact, he was standing with his arms in his pockets, almost as if he was suffering from boredom. I stood a comfortable distance away, coming up just a few feet behind Bella, managing an honest look of concern on my face. I knew he was okay…and I was certain of this as he continued to ignore me.

"Dad, are you all right?!" Bella pressed, her hands lingering on his shoulder, eyes searching incessantly for injury.

"I'm fine Bells, just a little car trouble." He said, smiling, enjoying the brief moment of diversion. I sighed internally.

"So you're alright then?" she said again, finally relaxing but the anxiety was still apparent on her face. There was a wrinkle between her brow -such an obvious sign of apprehension- that she seemed unaware of and remained there even when she tried to calm down.

"Really, I'm okay, don't get so worked up. I'd hate to see you in a real emergency." He laughed lightly to calm her further. It worked; she sighed and smiled anxiously in return. I chose then to courteously interject.

"May I ask what exactly is wrong with the cruiser chief? Maybe I can be of some help." I asked politely.

"Nah, that's okay Edward, don't trouble yourself, but thanks though, I'll let Jacob have a look tomorrow…" he said, brushing me off. Bella looked at me warily, almost as if the comment should physically hurt. I smiled to reassure her, I wasn't exactly bothered by Charlie's prospects… if only this man knew how much I respected his position as Bella's father, even though I'm twice his age, he might see how futile it was to regard me the way he does.

"I really don't mind" I pressed, loping toward the cruiser against Charlie's better judgment. "My father's been teaching me a few things, I'd be glad to take a look." I continued modestly. He couldn't possibly know that the better choice for a mechanic was here at his disposal. I'm certainly no Rosalie but compared to Jacob, I was better suited to the task because Jacob Black would need tools. I decided then, that if the job was small enough to get away with fixing by hand, then I'd do it. Although, a part of me knew that Charlie would be happier if I wasn't successful.

"So what precisely is going in here?" I said, my voice muffled as I lay on my back, half of me disappearing under the hood of the police cruiser.

"Well…"he started. _How can he see? _ he thought. "It's just the front prop shaft…blew it on a curb awhile back, knocked out the four wheel drive." I began to fiddle with the exoskeleton of the cruiser as he spoke. I was there for several minutes, working as slowly as the situation required. Bella came to me and knelt down beside me, I assumed, so I alone could hear her.

"Don't impress him too much, he'll loathe you even more." She advised knowingly. I laughed at the truth of it all.

"You know, Charlie grows fonder of me each day, that's what scares him." I explained, winking at her.

"I really hope that's true. It'll make walking me down the aisle much easier for him." she said, her expression wistful but amused. I sided with Alice on several occasions to not only meet Bella's wedding demands, but Charlie's expectations as well, as only I had the means of knowing exactly what he thought. But Charlie gave me very little to work with. Out of paternal nature alone, I imagine, if he had his way, there'd be no wedding at all. If nothing else, I know he and I have the same objection, and that was seeing Bella happy.

"All done." I declared, and Bella let out a breath she was holding. As I slid from under the cruiser, I could hear the war of question in Charlie's head, but it didn't quite translate to his face.

"So?" he asked, expectantly, trying to deduce what I thought of my own handy work.

"I think she's ready to give her a try." I said, looking back at the cruiser uncertainly, playing the role.

Bella's glare was really something to envy as Charlie put on a show, inspecting every inch of his cruiser.

"I could have sworn the initial problem was in the _front_ of the car." She hissed as Charlie disappeared behind the trunk, checking for something else. I bent slightly to speak directly to her ear.

"Remember Bella, tolerance." I said breezily.

And finally, after a long, drawn out show of scrutiny, Charlie unwillingly got inside the cruiser, turned the key, and listened to it sing. I tried to seem surprised.

"Well!" he exclaimed. "I hope I make it home…" he ribbed.

"No guarantees." I said, going along with his joke. I had to imagine Bella to be so annoyed beyond control right now; the apprehensive crease in her brow had suddenly gone. He face was flat with surpressed revulsion.

"You must be ready to go home now Dad." Bella urged, trying to atone for his rudeness I assumed.

"Yup, Bells, I'm starved." He said, calling out to her from inside the cruiser.

"Good. Dinner's been done…I ma-" she started but Charlie cut her off.

"How late is it? Must be close to ten, for sure…" he began, and I was knew, with quiet displeasure, where this was going. I made myself to be the willing accommodator, and confirmed the time.

"Yes, sir, it's ten till." I said watching Bella warily; I couldn't, as of yet, deduce how she would act when she found out what Charlie was pulling.

"Yep, that's about right. So, Bella, hop in with me and Edward…thanks for the handy work." He said abruptly, walking around to open the passenger door for her. Her mouth dropped open in response to his audacity.

"Bella, go." I whispered, marginally turning to leave to show the chief I was cooperating. "I'll be waiting for you when you get home, I promise." I added.

"And ride in the cruiser? No way!" she exclaimed quietly. My mood deflated minutely; it was certainly characteristic of Bella to be difficult about everything. She noticed the small change in my disposition and quickly turned her attention to Charlie, adamant in getting her way.

"Ok Dad, but after you've finished your dinner, you have to help me with the rest of my Calculus homework." She said, overly cheerful and lying through her teeth. There was no calculus homework. Charlie's face fell, looking to me and then back to her as he wondered in his mind just who made me the math genius.

"Can't you skip homework for one night?" he said meagerly, closing the door he held open for her. He could see he was losing this fight.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that…" she said, happily, as she won over Charlie. I sighed.

"Bella" I urged. "It's not such a bad idea to get rid of my car. The sooner, the longer the night…" I crooned, trying to sound alluring as to lead her into submission.

"Shh." She commanded sternly. I sighed again.

"Alright alright, when we get back you've got an hour to finish." He warned severely, slugging back to the driver's side.

"Ok Dad, see you at home." I began to walk to my car…Bella turned too quickly….this I was not prepared for….

"Oh, but Bella…"he said. Bella merely inclined her head in Charlie's direction, almost skipping to my car. "…let Edward ride with me." He finished, changing his mind from his previous instrction. My body went rigid and Bella stopped short; it wasn't often I was surprised by a mind I could read. It took me half a second to relax.

"_What?"_ she said breathlessly. It was my fear that Bella would gratuitously fight Charlie on the subject, so I turned heel and made my way over to the cruiser post haste. Bella was still in shock.

As soon as I got near enough he clapped me on the shoulder and fell into step with me.

"Ok, ok, just wait a second, Cha-Dad…" she yelled from behind.

"What's that Bells?" he said vaguely, I knew, because he wouldn't change his mind.

"I…I-I've never driven Edward's car before…" she said, but even I knew that that excuse couldn't have been any poorer. Driving Bella's truck would certainly make one apt to drive anything just shy of an airplane.

"Well be careful, I'm sure it goes over 50." He mocked her, sliding into the driver's seat.

"Could you give me a second Chief? I think she'll need these" I said, dangling my keys in front of him.

"Make it quick Edward, you don't want that Calculus homework to get cold do you?"

"Right" I laughed. The man was insatiable.

I ducked my head from under the car, and ran over to Bella as she stood, arms crossed and lips pouting in the darkness. I held out my keys for her and she took them spitefully.

"Patience would be such a virtue right about now Bella…" I pleaded.

"Hmph."

I sighed and laughed. Overall, I was amused by Charlie's plan. And I was already very sure of the subjects we would cover as we bonded on the ride home. I merely wished that I had some answers prepared. I ran back over to the cruiser and Charlie had the passenger door open for me.

"Thank you sir." I said, buckling my seat belt, something I never needed to do before.

"Again with the honorifics? C'mon _son-in-law_, Charlie's fine." He insisted. He couldn't hide the malignance there…or was it his intent to make that obvious?

"I'm sorry, really Charlie. I'll remember that from now on." I said, watching Bella slide into the Volvo and take off with a little too much speed.

"Man you chose a stubborn one." He smirked, regarding Bella's tendency to be intolerable. I laughed with him.

"I have no regrets." I said simply.

"In fact, that's why this whole thing throws me." He said, his voice diminishing in wonder.

"Excuse me sir?" I said, pretending to be confused, the words were as clear in head as if he'd already said it himself.

"My girl was never the married type. Saw what it did to her mother and she's been against the concept ever since. Renee always told her it was important to find love later then to marry too soon and I agree." He explained, beating around the bush again.

"So she's said." I concurred.

"Told you huh? Well, then, now I'm downright confused. How'd you get her to go along with it?" he finally admitted.

"Well, sir…stories…have their way of affecting one's opinion but emotions are…very real, hard to deny." I hesitated. He nodded, digesting the unexpected answer, and the implications of it.

"Hm…yea, that'll do it. But what I don't get…well let's get right down to it, you're a smart kid Edward…"

"Thank you sir."

"Not at all. In fact, I thought you would have been bright enough to see the good in waiting." He suggested, annunciating every letter, eyebrows raised sarcastically. This was becoming impossible. How could I explain to him all the circumstances, including my inhuman love for Bella without giving myself, and my family away? It was simply unavoidable. I deliberated quickly before deciding on an answer.

"I understand completely, and I did consider waiting, but we decided against it later. Call me old fashioned -perhaps I get it from my father-, it just seemed like the right thing to do, the only thing." I said slowly. He scoffed again.

"You guys are just about as old as I was when we I proposed to Bella's mother."

I sat up in my seat, watching Bella drive. She was shockingly unsteady; it was enough to make me nervous.

"Can I ask what made you do it?" I asked. He took in a long draw of breath before answering.

"Well, ask us now and we'll both agree there was no real reason. I was just as serious about her as I was when I married her, but I wasn't ready to support her. And when we did get on our feet…this just wasn't the life she wanted. That's the thing: people get older and they change. Just like a kid's favorite toy, they get to a certain age and they forget about it. Forget what it meant to them, and get something new." He said, lost in his own past.

"I understand that too." I said. "But I don't think that will happen. My father always stressed that there was a fine line in how serious a man could get about a woman without a ring on her finger. I'm more afraid Bella would…as you say, grow older and search for something new." I said, the truth coming out now.

"Really." He said, unconvinced. "That's a good thing to teach a boy. So how serious would you say you are about her?" He asked, glancing at me. I sensed a definite double standard there.

"Serious enough to ask her to the alter, but still, not quite as serious as most people our age." I said, internally amused. He would never know that this 'seriousness' of which he spoke was the only thing getting Bella to marry me in the first place.

"That's good to know…you religious?" he asked. I tried, with great effort, not to roll my eyes.

"I was raised Catholic, but my commitment hasn't been as it used to be now that my mother stopped forcing me to church." I lied. A religious vampire? What an awful oxymoron.

"Ha. Yeah I get that all too well." He said, and trailed off, remembering his Lutheran upbringing. We drove around the curve that put us back on his block in physical silence, but he whispered the words he wanted to say over and over again in his thoughts the entire way there…even when we pulled up along the sidewalk in front of his house. I couldn't stand it, I was very near responding to his internal voice.

"Well, thanks for riding with me Edward, we should do it again sometime…" he said, the words still playing like a broken record on his mind, driving me insane. He would never understand. I couldn't fight it anymore. I gave in to my talent and defended myself.

"You don't have to worry Charlie, I will never leave her like I did before. As long as she'll have me I'm here." I said, my tongue recognizing the words as I had said them before. Charlie stared at me, but slowly began to nod, his face still expressionless. I knew that he was suppressing something very close to hatred. Hatred for me. And in the brief second it took for him to turn away I saw them, so very clearly. I saw the months of my absence in his mind. And the pain was just as potent as it was the very first moment I'd seen her after our time apart. Would I ever live long enough to forget? That didn't seem possible now.

"We'll see." he breathed, and straightened to walk away.

"Yes, we will." I said, answering both our dilemmas.

o.O.o

"_Not now"_ I mouthed silently, Calculus homework and writing material spilling uselessly over the table between us. Bella was burning with an intense desire to hear of my ride with Charlie, but we had so much time ahead of us, and I was itching for a change in venue.

"Edward, c'mon. He's practically asleep. Sport center's watching _him_." She pleaded pathetically, knowing I would not give in.

"Bella, it can wait." I shook my head, amazed. "It really isn't in Charlie's best interest to fight you, I see that now…" I said.

"Whatever that means, you should take notes and _tell me what he said to you!"_ she pleaded again, child-like now.

"Why was it necessary to fabricate calculus homework Bella? If he'd stopped for one second to think of the fact that you've already told him the date of your calculus final and that you've taken it and _passed, _you'd have nothing short of a foolish lie on your hands." I scolded her. All of this was unnecessary. Or was it her natural defensiveness that drove to her rebel ridiculously against Charlie? She could be in bed right now, and I could be with her, given her hard headed-ness.

"…I really didn't think that one through did I?" she said inoffensively. I smiled, sensing all the futility in trying to reconcile them. I understand much better now that this rut in their relationship wasn't indicative of an actual problem between them. I suppose, it is just the natural dynamic of their relationship.

"You're in obvious need of bed rest." I insisted, rising from the table, suddenly too eager for Charlie's assigned hour to end. I walked around the table to her and kissed her forehead.

"Let's consider calculus done shall we?" I asked rhetorically. She rolled her eyes and laughed at herself. "I'll be back in fifteen minutes."

The ride home was startlingly serene this night. Often, when the subject of Bella's transformation and our subsequent marriage came into question, I was left with a lot to think about. As of now, my concerns have changed into something I've been slow to recognize. I've traded all my previous reservations for Bella's state of mind. It was all those finer still crucial details, such as her relationship with her mother and father that would make the final separation that much harder for her. But what could explain the serenity of my mind tonight? I'd spent most of my time trying to delay Bella, almost convinced that she would find something in her world worth staying human for. But the power of my new concerns don't seem to be enough to combat the selfishness within me, that part of me that would act to change her, taking her from this world forever. Maybe it was her confidence that was making me submissive now. When did I start letting myself believe?

I parked my car in front of the house with reckless abandon, not even bothering to leave it in the garage. It made me oddly complacent to know that I was still rushing to her bedside night after night after night. Charlie was quick to believe that I was only as capable as another man, that I'd get bored with daily routine, waking up to the same woman everyday.

Bella was still in the restroom when I arrived so I fixed myself on her bed waiting for her to return, not so enthused to regale her with the details of my ride with Charlie and wondering why it bothered her so much anyhow. When she came back, she made a show of curling against me,warming me up for confession.

"I believe you owe me an explanation." She said, her voice leering, probably from a less obvious need to sleep. I considered this and gave in. The quicker she was satisfied, the quicker she would sleep. I sighed and smiled.

"This changes nothing Bella." I demanded of her. Nothing _could _change.If she were suddenly upset with Charlie he would know precisely why.

"I know he's less afraid to tell _you _the truth. Maybe I can help, I _want _to help. I want him to believe that I'll be safe wherever I am…"she trailed off morosely, a drastic contrast from her previous behavior.

"Anyway, whatever you said to Charlie was making him awfully pleasant tonight. It's annoying. I don't understand why you…dehumanize yourself to make him think you're humble. Like he cares, he's a father." We laughed together at the irony.

"Believe it or not, it could have been much worse. Charlie is wiser then we give him credit for. He didn't ask the questions I half expected he would, the questions that would have been more appropriate. Such as where exactly we were when you came to rescue me in Italy. But it was surprisingly difficult to respond to the questions he _did_ ask." I began.

"You're wrong either way. My intent is not to have him think I'm humble. There's no need to prove myself to Charlie. He knows that as a person, as your fian-" I smiled when I felt her cringe against me..

"-_significant other_" I corrected myself. "-that I haven't changed, that I've cared for you and held you in the same regard ever since I realized I loved you. My fatal flaw in leaving you is what's causing all this dissension. It fuels his frustration with you as well. He still wonders why you've taken me back though he already knows the answer. And it hurts him all the same. The irrationality you accuse him of half the time lies in that one missing piece. Because he'll never know _why _I left you, or why you will disappear one day to run away with me forever, or what you'll _be _when you're there. His feelings for me influence your relationship with him and it's a responsibility he's subconsciously bestowed me with. For that reason, I can't help but offer him some peace of mind in anyway I can afford." I explained, realizing that I had deviated from the conversation of our ride home.

"Bella?" I asked, she was too still beside me. Had she fallen asleep?

"I'm awake…I just wish I- that _we _could tell him _something_. I really must thank the Volturi for that." She said solemnly. I didn't particularly like that she was harboring feelings like this. Wishful thinking could be dangerous; one may begin to _believe_ in something they know is impossible. This would only cause regret later on.

"Yes. But ignorance, as we've proven time and time again, is far safer for the human race. I _do _in fact admire them for that. Their willingness to protect the human race at the expense of living concealed lives. But, as you know, that 'protection' only goes so far…" I admitted. The Volturi has been the figure heads of my world for who knows how long. They have the power to expose themselves and disregard the humans, but they continue to set the standard for us all.

"Did he ask you not to marry me?" she asked, the seriousness fading, frivolous curiosity taking its place.

"No." I said, my voice laden in wonder. A question like that would have been more typical, and I would have expected it. "But he more or less wished that I'd have waited a few years." I said sternly. I hoped she sees the irony there; all I've wanted from the start was more time.

"Well that's just not going to happen…"she said, almost as if that fact was so exhausted it was boring. She moved her arm to rest her palm on my chest as I continued to stare out the window and into the night.

"Did he ask if we were intimate?" she inquired, almost whispering, her voice thick with amusement. I smiled.

"No, but he assumed we were so I was compelled to specify." I told her. She seemed unsurprised.

"Wow. I didn't think he believed me, as embarrassing as that conversation was." She said as I confirmed the truth. "That's good to know" she added sourly. I laughed and shifted my weight, turning my body so that I was on top of her, face to face. I smiled as I heard her breath catch.

"You have no right to be believed, not with how hard you've worked to share my bed with me already." I accused. Her heart began to race, but she pouted her lips rebelliously.

"What happen to innocent before proven guilty" she pleaded.

"Probable cause" I said and interceded with my lips, molding them to hers. Knowing that I had finally given in to the impending event in which I would physically claim her as mine, Bella was becoming increasingly bolder in her actions. And yet, at the expense my own self control, I willingly allowed it. I allowed her to slip her tongue between my teeth when I kissed her, I allowed her hips to expose my body to the heat of a place she was most sensitive, her fingers to slide underneath my shirt, to thread through my hair. Kissing her, touching her…I began to notice all the subtle things I loved about Bella, things I would miss when I transformed her. The feel of her skin, like satin against stone, the way her temperature rose when I kissed her, the way her heart reacted to my merest touch, the way her body _felt _against mine…none of this would be the same. In the second our lips parted, she heaved a breath and I laughed, pulling away from her.

"No, don't stop…" she whined, breathing heavily, eyes dancing in arousal.

"But I must Bella, you'll die of asphyxiation." I laughed, kissing the curve of her neck.

"I can't think of a better way to go." She said, still panting. I rolled over onto my side, taking her with me so that we were facing each other still. Her eyes half-lidded, lips pink from the onslaught.

"I believe you've had your fill for one night, now it's time for you to sleep." I demanded, they play of things still evident in my voice.

"Easy for _you _to say." She said rebelliously, wrapping her slight arms around my neck, drawing her body against mine.

"And I'll say it again…" I said, pulling her to me and tracing the length of her back slowly with my palm, reveling the _feel_.

"Try to sleep Bella, my love."

**o.O.o**

**AN/ Terrible ending I know...but it might have taken another two weeks to get anything more than what you see here. Please review, I'm in need of some inspiration...**


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